Miss You

“Miss You”
Louis Tomlinson

Is it my imagination?
Is it something that I’m taking?
All the smiles that I’m faking
“Everything is great
Everything is fucking great”
Going out every weekend
Staring at the stars on the ceiling
Hollywood friends, got to see them
Such a good time
I believe it this time

Tuesday night
Glazed over eyes
Just one more pint or five
Does it even matter anyway?

We’re dancing on tables
‘Til I’m off my face
With all of my people
And it couldn’t get better they say
We’re singing ’til last call
And it’s all out of tune
Should be laughing, but there’s something wrong
And it hits me when the lights go on
Shit, maybe I miss you

Just like that and I’m sober
I’m asking myself, “Is it over?”
Maybe I was lying when I told you
“Everything is great
Everything is fucking great”
And all of these thoughts and the feelings
Doesn’t matter if you don’t need them
I’ve been checking my phone all evening
Such a good time
I believe it this time

Tuesday night
Glazed over eyes
Just one more pint or five
Does it even matter anyway?

We’re dancing on tables
‘Til I’m off my face
With all of my people
And it couldn’t get better they say
We’re singing ’til last call
And it’s all out of tune
Should be laughing, but there’s something wrong
And it hits me when the lights go on
Shit, maybe I miss you

Now I’m asking my friends, ought to say “I’m sorry”
They say “Lad, give it time, there’s no need to worry”
And we can’t even be on the phone now
And I can’t even be with you alone now
Oh how, shit changes
We were in love, now we’re strangers
When I feel it coming up I just throw it all away
Get another two shots ’cause it doesn’t matter anyway

We’re dancing on tables
‘Til I’m off my face
With all of my people
And it couldn’t get better they say
We’re singing ’til last call
And it’s all out of tune
Should be laughing, but there’s something wrong
And it hits me when the lights go on
We’re dancing on tables
‘Til I’m off my face
With all of my people
And it couldn’t get better they say
We’re singing ’til last call
And it’s all out of tune
Should be laughing, but there’s something wrong
And it hits me when the lights go on
Shit, maybe I’ll miss you

Update on the Health…. I need help!!!!

People who have been following me on all my other social medias have known that my health has recently gotten a little dip.  I sort of think it was stemming from living in my apt in Taiwan the last trip, because my first symptoms of edema [swollen feet and ankles and sometimes legs] started after it, when I went to Florida [DISNEY!!!!]

I was fine back at home in Boston minus some foot pains occasionally or if I ate things that were too salty….

Coming to Taiwan, most of the trip my legs/feet were fine until I got to Hong Kong.  But even  when I arrived to Taiwan, some swelling would come but I’d drink liquids, flush it out and elevate my legs to help it.

In Japan, I walked a lot and it was actually quite ok.  It wasn’t until I came back to Taiwan and started getting my surgeries [small things, ear, belly button, leg] and taking antibiotics that my health really deteriorated.  And then I found out that the sides of my bed [It’s up against the wall] underneath had NOT been cleaned out in forever and it was thick black crusted mold, dust, cockroaches, crap, etc. — waa Taiwan, the land of humidity and dirty air…. and fucking cockroaches dying under my bed.

I actually went to the hospital and ER a few times and contemplating going again tonight or tmw morning to ER to get a second opinion.  My blood circulation pills and another weird pill helped a little but I still had so much pain.

SO, yesterday I got a new mattress and fully cleaned out the grossness surrounding my bed which I’ve sucked in for months and months… gag… and hopefully that’ll help.  I also found lists of things to avoid eating when puffy… basically meats [esp beef waa – I was craving it], dairy, fats, nuts, seeds, shellfish, anything oily buttery…. cold raw fruits and veg… waaaa what do I eat?!?!

But at least they have a nice list of things I can eat… adzuki bean congee, soybeans, barley, pumpkin, chicken, barley, parsley, clams, pineapple, grapes, soybeans, scallions, vinegar, seaweeds, watermelon, zucchinni, etc… I’ll post pics of the screen captions I got.

Does anyone have experience with this?  I’m in so much pain.  Any help would be a big help!!! Thanks!!!!

I’ve been crying a lot from the frustration and pain.

Forage – Cambridge, MA in my overalls… #fobstyle

Oh hai!  It’s been awhile since Yeah I wore overalls, made me feel like a forager lol jk… totally didn’t do it just to dress for the restaurant. So the night of the big fight on Saturday… Mayweather vs McGregor (FYI where was Bieber? Ha!) I first headed to Forage in Cambridge to grab a […]

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Back to you….

I just don’t get it… why are people just liars and cheaters and fakes.  I am so sick of it.  People are so freaking selfish and I can’t stand it.  And I don’t know why I always forgive them and go back to them……………..  maybe I’m just that much broken. Why do people say “sorry” […]

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positivity

To all the shade and negativity being thrown my way lately, I just gotta say: I’m gonna shake it off.  Cuz haters gonna hate, but I’m still fabulous just the way I am.

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It’s coming…

Once again another birthday is coming on upon me.  I used to go crazy and throw extravagant parties where I would get super dressed up, buy expensive outfits, go to fancy dinners and have crazy club/lounge parties.  Yes, one of them was at a circus-themed club. As the years have passed, my parties have calmed […]

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What makes you “normal”?

One of my best friends asked me “What is normal?” the other day when I said that I wasn’t “normal”.  I told him that being normal was weird, because what is normal? WHAT IS NORMAL? I’m not normal, I don’t think I ever have been.  For a brief moment in my life I wanted to […]

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Discovering myself…

It’s hard to always stand up for yourself, let alone even know who you are as a person.  I’ve been going through a darkness, and at times I feel like I’m spiraling down that I can’t get out of it.  Deeper and deeper into the madness.  And not in the awesome Alice in Wonderland way, […]

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Duck Breast with Fig Sauce over Grilled Asparagus and Cherry Tomatoes

I made this recipe a week or two ago and I thought I’d post about it…. Sauce: Red Wine Shallots Figs Balsamic Vinegar Maple Syrup (only if figs are not sweet enough for you) Black Pepper Rosemary Reduce. [ps. if you haven’t noticed, I tend to cook by taste, feeling and not by measurements – […]

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I understand there should be a higher purpose…

But what is mine? Dear God, I struggle with waking up each day knowing I’ll be hit with struggles that I have to smile through and be strong through, but why? I shouldn’t question your plan for my life but sometimes I find myself crying in the shower so the water hides my tears. Why […]

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