I’m a horrible human being…

Today my mother looked me straight in the eyes and told me that I was a horrible human being trying to make her die. Literally. She said that. She said I was trying to give her Covid because I wanted her demise. She said this after she asked me why I’ve been losing a lot of hair. Two reasons, either 1. nutrition or 2. depression… and I said probably both but definitely I’ve been depressed. And then she said why? I said because you have been picking fights with me over every single stupid thing lately… and then she said that I was trying to kill her. And she looked me in the eyes and said “Yes, I think you are a horrible human being…” I’m not sure how to feel right now. Obviously I’m hurt, but to be called that straight to your face, eyes to eyes, it’s definitely a thing.

I made a joke today because we were fighting and she took it as me wanting her to die. I don’t get it. I apologized that she didn’t get my humor trying to calm the situation but for her to tell me I’m a horrible human being…

Maybe I am. But I’ve never wished death on anyone in my life… and I’ve had a lot of shitty things happen to me.

It hurts.

Dear my first real crush…

I’ve had lots of crushes before you, but you were my first real one.

I remember the first time I saw you, you were eating fried clam strips, do you remember? Probably not! You handed me a tray so I could get food in the cafeteria… you were cute… obviously!

After me becoming good friends with your sister… you driving us to the mall and movies HEE HEE, we eventually became friends, really good friends… you even called me your little sister… but maybe more?

You came to my HS to pick me up, hang out with me, bake brownies, bring me things and even teach me how to drive… and my first rose on a Valentine’s Day was from you [when you taught me how to drive] I saved it for awhile until my heart was broken…

The first time I cried over a boy I liked, was you, because I found out after how nicely you treated me, you had a girlfriend!… You never told me, and all of my friends had to tell me. I never cried over a guy before, you took that from me. But it was just that one time! I don’t cry about boys anymore… unless I’m watching a K-Drama…

A little while later starting college you confessed you liked me… and had liked me all along… how is that fair?! To me or your ex?

Later we met up again and then you ignored me after…

All I want to say is… I had a crush on your brother first. HA!

Losing me is better than losing you…

Hi world! And what a strange world we are in now… I’ve been writing a long blog that I haven’t finished yet to update you on my life but this just dropped tonight at midnight (EST) so after watching this on repeat for forever… here it is! My beloved Wonho is back… and with a […]

Can we talk about this Mukbang sensation?

Before we start, watch Jin’s “Epiphany” and I won’t judge you on crying and dying on how amazing and jaw dropping it is…. i wanna cry each time… DED* I will be the first to admit, last year I finally gave into the craze of watching mukbangs.  Being a recovery “eating disordered” and also food […]

Sorry guys…

I have failed at blogging anymore. Expect a blog and/or vlog this weekend :D Planning, planning, planning.. planning an unplanned one.  Whenever I feel inspired, I guess.  I’ve just been busy with life… love ya’ll <3 If you are curious about my life, add my snapchat [misstiffie] or follow me on instagram, I post a […]

Want You Back.. and take me to Havana.

Just got back from Japan and I’ve been catching up on work and still eating my way around Taiwan <3 DUH.  I do miss Americuh tho… tho Trump makes is less missable [not trying to get political here] SO… My obsession with 5 Seconds of Summer has been full-filled… after 1.5 years of being absent […]

Miss You

“Miss You” Louis Tomlinson Is it my imagination? Is it something that I’m taking? All the smiles that I’m faking “Everything is great Everything is fucking great” Going out every weekend Staring at the stars on the ceiling Hollywood friends, got to see them Such a good time I believe it this time Tuesday night […]

Update on the Health…. I need help!!!!

People who have been following me on all my other social medias have known that my health has recently gotten a little dip.  I sort of think it was stemming from living in my apt in Taiwan the last trip, because my first symptoms of edema [swollen feet and ankles and sometimes legs] started after […]

Forage – Cambridge, MA in my overalls… #fobstyle

Oh hai!  It’s been awhile since Yeah I wore overalls, made me feel like a forager lol jk… totally didn’t do it just to dress for the restaurant. So the night of the big fight on Saturday… Mayweather vs McGregor (FYI where was Bieber? Ha!) I first headed to Forage in Cambridge to grab a […]

Back to you….

I just don’t get it… why are people just liars and cheaters and fakes.  I am so sick of it.  People are so freaking selfish and I can’t stand it.  And I don’t know why I always forgive them and go back to them……………..  maybe I’m just that much broken. Why do people say “sorry” […]