Excess Flesh: a good look at the truth of eating disorders thru a crazy awesome movie

The first time I watched this movie I was just in for the horror and the gore… I had no idea it would hit me this much.  Being a recovered anorexic/bulimic I ended up being obsessed with this movie and looking up as many reviews as possible.  But yet, no one had the same perspective that I had on this movie… and no one interpreted it the same way I did.

Jennifer, a skinny sexy model who can eat whatever she wants and not gain weight, is best friends with Jill, a normal sized chick who ends who binging and purging or starving for days… they are roommates and it’s a messed up relationship.

Jennifer is extroverted and sleeps around a lot while Jill is introverted and prefers to stay at home all day, but is an extra agent cook.  While Jennifer gorges on junk food, Jill starves herself all day until the middle of the night – which leads to regret, chewing and spitting, or purging. 

The friendship is very vioiatle and it focuses on people chewing and eating a lot – which, is actually quite disgusting. 

To me, unaccording to other critics and receivers… I believe that Jill and Jennifer are the same person. Jennifer is Jill’s inner “hungry” girl… while Jill is Jennifer’s inner “fat” girl (although they definitely did not chose an overweight actress to play the part)

There are lots of weird forced food and eating moments during the movie. Jill even locked Jennifer up and she escapes but the cops don’t even act like they are two people, just one… therefore why I think they ARE one person.

In the end, after she’s supposedly “dead”, Jennifer shows up to a casting call and they even say something of the likes of “oh it’s her again”… which makes me even more sure that that Jennifer and Jill are the same person.

I duno. Thoughts?

And so I sit here…

It’s 3:02AM EST time and I’m sitting here watching tv marathons and movies on iTunes and Netflix.  I just finished off a bowl of homemade nachos and guacamole and I’m about to go warm up some more spicy pulled pork I made earlier.  Has this become my life?  This could be the wine talking, or the wandering mind thinking… but this is definitely not where I thought I would be… a year ago, two, three, five, ten? What has happened?

It’s funny how things work. Weight gain made me sad. But I gained weight cuz I’ve been happy. But the weight gain makes me not want to move… so while I eat less, I move less. I’m still not happy with my body. But that could just be my eating disorder talking.  Always in recovery, never fully recovered.

You guys have been with me through so many ups and downs and yet you remain loyal.  So much gratitude.  Love, lust, heartbreaks. Breakdowns and highs. Parties and mournings.

The past year I have been basically mostly living in Taiwan and I’ve forgotten my love for cooking, almost.  I stopped caring a lot about things I used to be so passionate about and I have no real explanation for it… but it’s recently sparked up again.

I cooked duck the other day. And today I had a pulled pork burrito/taco night with pomegranate guacamole, spicy mango pico de gallo with roasted garlic and corn and an extremely spicy salsa verde… along with some yummy gooey blue corn chip nachos.  I started to feel alive again.  I started a cooking idea journal/notebook again…. mainly b/c I was planning to cook for C on his birthday… and while things got in the way, I still got MAD IDEAS to play on.

SO…. I have ideas of doing supper parties.  [And have talked with a chef friend or two about doing pop ups] – I want to, once I move out, host supper/dinner parties, first once a month, and then possibly once a week.  People can BYOB and tell me their diets…. or just leave it up to me.  Hopefully soon after team, up with chefs and cool wine people.

I have so many ambitions and ideas… I want to write, I want to travel, I want to cook, I want to go back to school…. and I want to film it all. I have a secret thing about wanting to be in front of a camera.

So maybe this is how this blog is evolving.  It went from food diary to healthy eating and recipes to eating out and traveling extravagantly …. and then just personal…. me finding my inner peace…. healing and now this.  My lifestyle. Ever evolving.

This blog is now: Finding the real Miss Tiffie.

Please join me in my journey.

New Years Eve Dinner 2016 at Duexave

FINALLY I’m GONNA POST THIS!!!!!!!!! So I’ve been backlogged… I have half written blogs up all in this shizz and it doesn’t seem to be coming out (ha! – Sorry dirty mind!) I keep having ideas and then writer’s block… my current obsession with watching Frozen and Tangled and seeing their soundtrack 24/7 isn’t helping […]

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Can you believe it’s February? 2017?

I have so many posts, “almost finished” on here…. I promise to post my New Years Eve dinner post tonight, but life has just been flying past me. Swoooooshhhhhh…. I feel like this website needs a makeover, do-over, something.  It’s become more of a lifestyle blog than a food blog, although food still is my […]

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So far a great holiday season back in bean town!!!! 

So I tried posting earlier but they posted my pics backwards! I’ll have a special post about my 3 months in Taiwan…. but first the holidays – partially in Taipei and the other in Boston!!!! Starting with a non-traditional Thanksgiving :) Btw I’m super excited for New Years Eve :)  Christmas Night Market at 101 […]

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FU

I lol’d I got two letters for you One of them is F The other one is U

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Moonlight Sonata – Beethoven

I’ve been obsessed with this song lately… and it’s probably gonna make me go back to playing the piano again…. which has been a few years that I’ve played magic with the keys.  I recently told a close friend that this is the perfect song of beauty and tragedy… when I die, I want to […]

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盂蘭節 aka Ghost Month aka 鬼節

This month is ghost month… and while it’s August, it’s lunar year, seventh month and called 盂蘭節… Basically: The Ghost Festival, also known as the Hungry Ghost Festival in modern day, Zhong Yuan Jie or Yu Lan Jie (traditional Chinese: 盂蘭節) is a traditional Buddhist and Taoist festival held in Asian countries. In theChinese calendar (a lunisolar […]

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Just Believe…

It is so nice to be acknowledged of my growing skills.  Ever since learning I had a gift, my life has improved so much.  My close friends and family also see it within me, as has my teacher.  I’m praying more, meditating more, work has gone better than ever for me.  My health is doing […]

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Not my typical Sunday

I had an amazing day… I woke up at 730am to get ready for my RPI Alumni meets new students brunch all the way in Medford.  Being the lazy person that I am, and a sleep-in-aholic, I almost didn’t go… but I read a few cards and they all said that today was going to […]

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