Losing me is better than losing you…

Hi world! And what a strange world we are in now… I’ve been writing a long blog that I haven’t finished yet to update you on my life but this just dropped tonight at midnight (EST) so after watching this on repeat for forever… here it is!

My beloved Wonho is back… and with a beautiful English ballad no less… the lyrics, the music – oh so beautiful ! And he is looking gorgeous as ever… even my mom was like “danggggg his body is looking good!!!!” OK she didn’t say dang and she said it in chinese but you get the point!

I’m so happy he’s officially back and so proud of him. I’m emotional! I cried when he left MONSTA X [i was literally sobbing in bed for a week… besides work] but now I’m crying that he’s back.. ah JOY! So so so happy to see his face and hear his voice coming from his mouth… it’s always so painful to see his part avoided in MONSTA X MVs and him getting replaced in performances.

So my personal blog will be up soon… until then… enjoy with me 😍❤️ Have a great weekend!!!

Hold me closer
Don’t let me go over
Hold me closer

Umm lock it away
Keep my heart at your place
Pull me closer

Coz anytime or place I’d be your shield
When you feel
Like you ain’t got the fight in you to heal
And when you’re weak in defeat
I need you to know

Baby I would go to war for you
Build an army if you need me to
Coz losing me is better than losing you

Don’t you know that I would die for you
If I knew that you would make it through
Coz losing me is better than losing you

Fast car & no breaks
You’re the rush that I crave
Drive me insane

Coz you’re the air inside my lungs
Suffocating when you’re gone
I’m a mess and it’s all wrong without you here
Oh nothings clear
And I need you to know

Baby I would go to war for you
Build an army if you need me to yeah
Coz losing me is better than losing you

Don’t you know that I would die for you
If I knew that you would make it through
Coz losing me is better than losing you

It’s better than losing you
You, you, losing you

Baby I would go to war for you
Build an army if you need me to yeah
Coz losing me is better than losing you

Don’t you know that I would die for you
If I knew that you would make it through
Coz losing me is better than losing you

It’s better than losing you
You, you, losing you

Back to you….

I just don’t get it… why are people just liars and cheaters and fakes.  I am so sick of it.  People are so freaking selfish and I can’t stand it.  And I don’t know why I always forgive them and go back to them……………..  maybe I’m just that much broken.

Why do people say “sorry” when they don’t even mean it?  And why do people still fall for it?  It’s a never ending circle, it’s saddening, heartbreaking and yet inevitable and it just happens over and over again.  When will the cycle end?  For the lucky ones, it doesn’t happen, or it happens once or twice.  But for people like me, I shouldn’t have picked up that penny the wrong side up, it’s the story of my life.

At times, I just don’t know how to feel anymore.  Numb, I’ve said before, just numb.

I accept all of my problems and disorders and “crazy” that I have… and I feel like everyone in my life does too… well mostly… the true ones.  The ones who love me and accept me for who I am.

“I love it, I hate it…”  Guess I’m just a masochistic. LOL.

Like I’ve said before, I’ve got a Jet Black Heart.

[Bebe Rexha:]
I know you say you know me, know me well
But these days I don’t even know myself, no
I always thought I’d be with someone else
I thought I would own the way I felt, yeah

I call you but you never even answer
I tell myself I’m done with wicked games
But then I get so numb with all the laughter
That I forget about the pain

Whoah, you stress me out, you kill me
You drag me down, you fuck me up
We’re on the ground, we’re screaming
I don’t know how to make it stop
I love it, I hate it, and I can’t take it
But I keep on coming back to you

[Louis Tomlinson:]
I know my friends they give me bad advice
Like move on, get you out my mind
But don’t you think I haven’t even tried
You got me cornered and my hands are tied

[Louis Tomlinson & Bebe Rexha:]
You got me so addicted to the drama
I tell myself I’m done with wicked games
But then I get so numb with all the laughter
That I forget about the pain

[Louis Tomlinson:]
Whoah, you stress me out, you kill me
You drag me down, you fuck me up
We’re on the ground, we’re screaming
I don’t know how to make it stop
I love it, I hate it, and I can’t take it
But I keep on coming back to you (back to you)
Oh, no, no, I just keep on coming back to you (back to you)
Oh, no, no, I just keep on coming back to you

And I guess you’ll never know
All the bullshit that you put me through
And I guess you’ll never know, no

[Bebe Rexha & Louis Tomlinson:]
Yeah, so you can cut me up and kiss me harder
You can be the pill to ease the pain
‘Cause I know I’m addicted to your drama
Baby, here we go again

Whoah, you stress me out, you kill me
You drag me down, you fuck me up
We’re on the ground, we’re screaming
I don’t know how to make it stop
I love it, I hate it, and I can’t take it
But I keep on coming back to you (back to you)
Oh, no, no, I just keep on coming back to you (back to you)
Oh, no, no, I just keep on coming back to you
Back to you
I just keep on coming back to you

Thursday July 6, 2016: Today was a new day…

image

I’m on another spiritual cleanse so I’m not eating pork, can’t touch water for 12-24 hours and also not talking for 12-24 hours.  But I always end up choosing the longer cleanses…..

Today I asked my angels who my protector would be and it was Archangel Michael.  I have “Crystal Clear Intentions” And I just “Be clear about what [I] desire, and focus upon it with unwavering faith.”

And when asked about what to do with my current situation iI got Archangel Raziel…. who told me to “Take Back Your Power!” and that I should “Use your Food given power and intention to manifest blessings [in] my life.”

Both are so real. Michael is a real protector of people and he has chosen me from the first time me and my teacher met him…. And taking back my power is like a reflection of me taking back my power of my life and not let other affect it like it did yesterday.  I am truly blessed to have these angels in my life who trust me and help me so much…. they speak through me.

I feel reborn.

What I wrote on my facebook wall today:
“I feel completely blessed to have these people and teachers in my life. I have forgiven my past and only look positively to my future. For those who have hurt me I give you my blessing and wish you no harm or ill will, but kindly so, do not ever enter my life again.”

I am over people in my past giving me a hard time and constantly trying to hurt me.  People can just be cowards and it’s ridiculous.  I am past and beyond that… and today during my cleansing I completely released myself.  Forgive, just give off positive energy and just bless even those who try to hurt me.

If you are interested in me helping you with different card readings or crystal pendulum readings, just let me know! misstiffie@gmail.com


Alan Walker – Faded

So hey, let’s be friends! ….

taylorswift-1989polaroid-03

I’m dying to see how this one ends….

The one thing that my friends have always told me, that despite all the heartaches and heartbreaks I’ve been through I have almost gotten stronger, stood up, and always stayed optimistic.  My cup is always half full and I always stay positive.

Nice to meet you, where you been?
I could show you incredible things
Magic, madness, heaven, sin
. . .
Love’s a game, wanna play?

I’ve got a blank space baby, and I’ll write your name. 

So let’s Marvin Gaye and get it on……xoxo

Safety Pin

5-seconds-of-summer-5sos-ashton-irwin-band-Favim.com-2574899

Runaways, we’re the long lost children
Running to the edge of the world
Everybody wants to throw us away
Broken boy meets broken girl
You said you tried it all before
And it only makes it worse
Oh but this time, maybe this time
Two wrongs make it right

We’ll safety pin, the pieces of our broken hearts back together
Patching up all the holes until we both feel much better
Deleted things, I really meant, so now I’ll say the things I never sent
We’ll safety pin, the pieces of our broken hearts back together

Throwing rocks at your broken window
Only you can cure my sickness
Raise ourselves and a middle finger
Cause they all think we’re twisted
Once I had a little taste
Now I’m addicted to your fix
Oh yeah this time, maybe this time
Two wrongs make it right

We’ll safety pin, the pieces of our broken hearts back together
Patching up all the holes until we both feel much better
Deleted things, I really meant, so now I’ll say the things I never sent
We’ll safety pin, the pieces of our broken hearts back together

No more waiting, we can save us from falling [x5]
This time, maybe this time

We’ll safety pin, the pieces of our broken hearts back together
Patching up all the holes until we both feel much better
Deleted things, I really meant, so now I’ll say the things I never sent
We’ll safety pin, the pieces of our broken hearts back together

No more waiting, we can save us from falling

Heart beats fast
Colors and promises
How to be brave?
How can I love when I’m afraid to fall?
But watching you stand alone,
All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow.

One step closer

I have died every day waiting for you
Darling, don’t be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I’ll love you for a thousand more

Time stands still
Beauty in all she is
I will be brave
I will not let anything take away
What’s standing in front of me
Every breath
Every hour has come to this

One step closer

“Let Her Go”

Well you only need the light when it’s burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go

Only know you’ve been high when you’re feeling low
Only hate the road when you’re missin’ home
Only know you love her when you let her go
And you let her go

Staring at the bottom of your glass
Hoping one day you’ll make a dream last
But dreams come slow and they go so fast

You see her when you close your eyes
Maybe one day you’ll understand why
Everything you touch surely dies

But you only need the light when it’s burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go

Only know you’ve been high when you’re feeling low
Only hate the road when you’re missin’ home
Only know you love her when you let her go

Staring at the ceiling in the dark
Same old empty feeling in your heart
‘Cause love comes slow and it goes so fast

Well you see her when you fall asleep
But never to touch and never to keep
‘Cause you loved her too much
And you dived too deep

Well you only need the light when it’s burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go

Only know you’ve been high when you’re feeling low
Only hate the road when you’re missin’ home
Only know you love her when you let her go

And you let her go (oh, oh, ooh, oh no)
And you let her go (oh, oh, ooh, oh no)
Will you let her go?

‘Cause you only need the light when it’s burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go

Only know you’ve been high when you’re feeling low
Only hate the road when you’re missin’ home
Only know you love her when you let her go

‘Cause you only need the light when it’s burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go

Only know you’ve been high when you’re feeling low
Only hate the road when you’re missin’ home
Only know you love her when you let her go

And you let her go

Letting in and Locking out……. You’ll never get me again, I’m just a memory and an aftertaste

I’ve spent a lot of my life hiding from what is good for me or being let down to the ones I actually open up to. When do you go from wanting what you can’t have and being wanted by what you don’t want/need to when you are just happy?  When I open my doors to the right person, I don’t want to be shut out again.  I’m open and speak my mind, but yet there is the introvert in me there’s this secret world in my mind that is hard to bring out. So to all those who have hurt me that I’ve opened up to….

Re-rewind Friday night, never forget it
How you let me go
No more lies I’ll be fine I know where I’m headed
Probably should’ve known

And now you’re gonna say, “Pretty, please forgive me.”
Fool me once, told you twice you’re gonna regret it
Now you’re all alone yeah

Turns out that no one can replace me
I’m permanent, you can’t erase me
I’ll help you remember me
One more kiss is all it takes
I’ll leave you with the memory
And the aftertaste

Close your eyes you can’t hide
Try to forget me but I’m everywhere
I’m the smell on your sheets you weren’t ready
When you left me there

And now you’re gonna say, “Pretty, please forgive me.” Yeah
Bet it hurts, it gets worse, you know nobody, said it would be fair, oh

Turns out that no one can replace me
I’m permanent, you can’t erase me
I’ll help you remember me
One more kiss is all it takes
I’ll leave you with the memory
And the aftertaste

And now there’s something in your way
‘Cause you threw it all to waste
And you wonder if you could take back what you did that day and it hurts, ’cause…

Turns out that no one can replace me
I’m permanent, you can’t erase me
I’ll help you remember me
One more kiss is all it takes
I’ll leave you with the memory
And the aftertaste

Truth is that no one can replace me
I’m permanent, you can’t erase me
I’ll help you remember me
One more kiss is all it takes
I’ll leave you with the memory
And the aftertaste
And the aftertaste

Greek Food at the Hellenic Festival – Cambridge

This summer… back at the Greek Orthodox Church on Magazine street  in Cambridge I went to the Greek festival for some good eats and fun.

“White wine please.. the whole bottle”
“Just for you?”
“Obviously…”

DUH

Vote Vote Vote for the best guy friend a girl could have!!!!!

https://apps.facebook.com/whcontests/ghostwriter/entries/view/23025/2128501

 

Please help my friend Kev out!!!! He’s an aspiring and super talented musician and I wanna help him out as much as I can – so please do me a favor, vote for him every 24 hours and post this on your sites and fb and tweet about this. MUCH LOVE!