Want You Back.. and take me to Havana.

Just got back from Japan and I’ve been catching up on work and still eating my way around Taiwan <3 DUH.  I do miss Americuh tho… tho Trump makes is less missable [not trying to get political here]

SO… My obsession with 5 Seconds of Summer has been full-filled… after 1.5 years of being absent they released their new song, and now their new video…..  [btw my love of this song “Want You Back” has nothing to do with wanting anyone back. I don’t LOL.]

On another note, still obsessed with Camila Cabello’s Havana… cuz Oh Na Na… “Papi says he got malo in him” <3 wink wink – I chose the vertical version but the original video is hilarious and great too.

And End Game.  Taylor Swift. Ed Sheeran. Future. Enough said.

Bitches all be fierce. New long post [and long awaited] with a Q&A and possibly vlog post coming very soon!!!! Health is getting better, life is pretty good and I may have a little crush :] DAT IZ ALL. Oh yeah and I’ve been eating a TON again…. oops. Sorry scale and cute clothes.

Back to you….

I just don’t get it… why are people just liars and cheaters and fakes.  I am so sick of it.  People are so freaking selfish and I can’t stand it.  And I don’t know why I always forgive them and go back to them……………..  maybe I’m just that much broken.

Why do people say “sorry” when they don’t even mean it?  And why do people still fall for it?  It’s a never ending circle, it’s saddening, heartbreaking and yet inevitable and it just happens over and over again.  When will the cycle end?  For the lucky ones, it doesn’t happen, or it happens once or twice.  But for people like me, I shouldn’t have picked up that penny the wrong side up, it’s the story of my life.

At times, I just don’t know how to feel anymore.  Numb, I’ve said before, just numb.

I accept all of my problems and disorders and “crazy” that I have… and I feel like everyone in my life does too… well mostly… the true ones.  The ones who love me and accept me for who I am.

“I love it, I hate it…”  Guess I’m just a masochistic. LOL.

Like I’ve said before, I’ve got a Jet Black Heart.

[Bebe Rexha:]
I know you say you know me, know me well
But these days I don’t even know myself, no
I always thought I’d be with someone else
I thought I would own the way I felt, yeah

I call you but you never even answer
I tell myself I’m done with wicked games
But then I get so numb with all the laughter
That I forget about the pain

Whoah, you stress me out, you kill me
You drag me down, you fuck me up
We’re on the ground, we’re screaming
I don’t know how to make it stop
I love it, I hate it, and I can’t take it
But I keep on coming back to you

[Louis Tomlinson:]
I know my friends they give me bad advice
Like move on, get you out my mind
But don’t you think I haven’t even tried
You got me cornered and my hands are tied

[Louis Tomlinson & Bebe Rexha:]
You got me so addicted to the drama
I tell myself I’m done with wicked games
But then I get so numb with all the laughter
That I forget about the pain

[Louis Tomlinson:]
Whoah, you stress me out, you kill me
You drag me down, you fuck me up
We’re on the ground, we’re screaming
I don’t know how to make it stop
I love it, I hate it, and I can’t take it
But I keep on coming back to you (back to you)
Oh, no, no, I just keep on coming back to you (back to you)
Oh, no, no, I just keep on coming back to you

And I guess you’ll never know
All the bullshit that you put me through
And I guess you’ll never know, no

[Bebe Rexha & Louis Tomlinson:]
Yeah, so you can cut me up and kiss me harder
You can be the pill to ease the pain
‘Cause I know I’m addicted to your drama
Baby, here we go again

Whoah, you stress me out, you kill me
You drag me down, you fuck me up
We’re on the ground, we’re screaming
I don’t know how to make it stop
I love it, I hate it, and I can’t take it
But I keep on coming back to you (back to you)
Oh, no, no, I just keep on coming back to you (back to you)
Oh, no, no, I just keep on coming back to you
Back to you
I just keep on coming back to you

Thursday July 6, 2016: Today was a new day…

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I’m on another spiritual cleanse so I’m not eating pork, can’t touch water for 12-24 hours and also not talking for 12-24 hours.  But I always end up choosing the longer cleanses…..

Today I asked my angels who my protector would be and it was Archangel Michael.  I have “Crystal Clear Intentions” And I just “Be clear about what [I] desire, and focus upon it with unwavering faith.”

And when asked about what to do with my current situation iI got Archangel Raziel…. who told me to “Take Back Your Power!” and that I should “Use your Food given power and intention to manifest blessings [in] my life.”

Both are so real. Michael is a real protector of people and he has chosen me from the first time me and my teacher met him…. And taking back my power is like a reflection of me taking back my power of my life and not let other affect it like it did yesterday.  I am truly blessed to have these angels in my life who trust me and help me so much…. they speak through me.

I feel reborn.

What I wrote on my facebook wall today:
“I feel completely blessed to have these people and teachers in my life. I have forgiven my past and only look positively to my future. For those who have hurt me I give you my blessing and wish you no harm or ill will, but kindly so, do not ever enter my life again.”

I am over people in my past giving me a hard time and constantly trying to hurt me.  People can just be cowards and it’s ridiculous.  I am past and beyond that… and today during my cleansing I completely released myself.  Forgive, just give off positive energy and just bless even those who try to hurt me.

If you are interested in me helping you with different card readings or crystal pendulum readings, just let me know! misstiffie@gmail.com


Alan Walker – Faded

So hey, let’s be friends! ….

taylorswift-1989polaroid-03

I’m dying to see how this one ends….

The one thing that my friends have always told me, that despite all the heartaches and heartbreaks I’ve been through I have almost gotten stronger, stood up, and always stayed optimistic.  My cup is always half full and I always stay positive.

Nice to meet you, where you been?
I could show you incredible things
Magic, madness, heaven, sin
. . .
Love’s a game, wanna play?

I’ve got a blank space baby, and I’ll write your name. 

So let’s Marvin Gaye and get it on……xoxo

Safety Pin

5-seconds-of-summer-5sos-ashton-irwin-band-Favim.com-2574899

Runaways, we’re the long lost children
Running to the edge of the world
Everybody wants to throw us away
Broken boy meets broken girl
You said you tried it all before
And it only makes it worse
Oh but this time, maybe this time
Two wrongs make it right

We’ll safety pin, the pieces of our broken hearts back together
Patching up all the holes until we both feel much better
Deleted things, I really meant, so now I’ll say the things I never sent
We’ll safety pin, the pieces of our broken hearts back together

Throwing rocks at your broken window
Only you can cure my sickness
Raise ourselves and a middle finger
Cause they all think we’re twisted
Once I had a little taste
Now I’m addicted to your fix
Oh yeah this time, maybe this time
Two wrongs make it right

We’ll safety pin, the pieces of our broken hearts back together
Patching up all the holes until we both feel much better
Deleted things, I really meant, so now I’ll say the things I never sent
We’ll safety pin, the pieces of our broken hearts back together

No more waiting, we can save us from falling [x5]
This time, maybe this time

We’ll safety pin, the pieces of our broken hearts back together
Patching up all the holes until we both feel much better
Deleted things, I really meant, so now I’ll say the things I never sent
We’ll safety pin, the pieces of our broken hearts back together

No more waiting, we can save us from falling

Heart beats fast
Colors and promises
How to be brave?
How can I love when I’m afraid to fall?
But watching you stand alone,
All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow.

One step closer

I have died every day waiting for you
Darling, don’t be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I’ll love you for a thousand more

Time stands still
Beauty in all she is
I will be brave
I will not let anything take away
What’s standing in front of me
Every breath
Every hour has come to this

One step closer

Are we in the clear yet? – T.S.

Why do I have the old Spiderman cartoon theme song stuck in my head? No idea.  It’s annoying and entertaining me at the same time, must turn on some good tunes…

I’ve been in a funk of a mood all day and just feeling stupid, with no one to blame but myself that right now I’m in this position.  I know, I know… people make mistakes, learn from them, grow and don’t repeat.  But I just want to press rewind and not have had it happen at all. In fact there were a lot of things that could be changed.

But people are people, as I am a human being, and sometimes we do dumb things.  All we can do is apologize, cross our fingers and hope that everything will be okay.  Because such trivial silly dumb things are things that we can laugh about later in life.  When I feel down about these things I always think of the movie The Fault in our Stars and rub my necklace…. look at my tattoo. Pocketful of Dreams.  Don’t let a small thing ruin something that could be far more amazing.  You only live life once. Forgive. Forget. Love. Laugh. Dance in the Rain. Be happy.

 Good.

…..but I’ll pick you a flower if you like

i want this in my life….

#Beckstin is so perfect. They are so cute.

Hahah the only chick I allow to be with my Austin ;] Cuz Becky G is cute as fuck! I also want a taco now….

Starting to feel unwanted.

Just be you… a New Chapter in Life

The snow glows white on the mountain tonight,
Not a footprint to be seen.
A kingdom of isolation and it looks like I’m the queen.
The wind is howling like this swirling storm inside.
Couldn’t keep it in, Heaven knows I tried.

Don’t let them in, don’t let them see,
Be the good girl you always have to be.
Conceal, don’t feel, don’t let them know.
Well, now they know.

It’s funny how some distance makes everything seem small
And the fears that once controlled me can’t get to me at all.
Up here in the cold thin air I finally can breathe.
I know I left a life behind but I’m too relieved to grieve.

Standing frozen
In the life I’ve chosen.
You won’t find me.
The past is all behind me
Buried in the snow.

Let it go, let it go
Can’t hold it back anymore
Let it go, let it go
Turn my back and slam the door
And here I stand, and here I’ll stay
Let it go, let it go
The cold never bothered me anyway

I’m too old for this shit