And so I sit here…

It’s 3:02AM EST time and I’m sitting here watching tv marathons and movies on iTunes and Netflix.  I just finished off a bowl of homemade nachos and guacamole and I’m about to go warm up some more spicy pulled pork I made earlier.  Has this become my life?  This could be the wine talking, or the wandering mind thinking… but this is definitely not where I thought I would be… a year ago, two, three, five, ten? What has happened?

It’s funny how things work. Weight gain made me sad. But I gained weight cuz I’ve been happy. But the weight gain makes me not want to move… so while I eat less, I move less. I’m still not happy with my body. But that could just be my eating disorder talking.  Always in recovery, never fully recovered.

You guys have been with me through so many ups and downs and yet you remain loyal.  So much gratitude.  Love, lust, heartbreaks. Breakdowns and highs. Parties and mournings.

The past year I have been basically mostly living in Taiwan and I’ve forgotten my love for cooking, almost.  I stopped caring a lot about things I used to be so passionate about and I have no real explanation for it… but it’s recently sparked up again.

I cooked duck the other day. And today I had a pulled pork burrito/taco night with pomegranate guacamole, spicy mango pico de gallo with roasted garlic and corn and an extremely spicy salsa verde… along with some yummy gooey blue corn chip nachos.  I started to feel alive again.  I started a cooking idea journal/notebook again…. mainly b/c I was planning to cook for C on his birthday… and while things got in the way, I still got MAD IDEAS to play on.

SO…. I have ideas of doing supper parties.  [And have talked with a chef friend or two about doing pop ups] – I want to, once I move out, host supper/dinner parties, first once a month, and then possibly once a week.  People can BYOB and tell me their diets…. or just leave it up to me.  Hopefully soon after team, up with chefs and cool wine people.

I have so many ambitions and ideas… I want to write, I want to travel, I want to cook, I want to go back to school…. and I want to film it all. I have a secret thing about wanting to be in front of a camera.

So maybe this is how this blog is evolving.  It went from food diary to healthy eating and recipes to eating out and traveling extravagantly …. and then just personal…. me finding my inner peace…. healing and now this.  My lifestyle. Ever evolving.

This blog is now: Finding the real Miss Tiffie.

Please join me in my journey.

Dear Heart,

What are you trying to tell me?  You’re telling me that everything is gonna be okay.  What am I not getting at and seeing?  You’ve been stabbed, manipulated, torn apart, hurt, broken, in love, in pain, everything…. and yet you still keep secrets from me.  Teach me, please, teach me how to listen to what you have to say to me.  I’ve already learned so much from my past, but there is always more things to learn.

Sometimes everyone needs to take a step back and ask themselves what their heart is saying to them and figure out what they truly want.  The truth is there, the future is there.  It will never change, but one sees only what they want to see, but you need to learn how to see what is truly there.

“Love actually is all around” – Love Actually

That’s something we need to learn.  But love can hurt, and it can be happiness. That’s also something we need to learn.  To truly love is to have lost… to be loved and to love others, you need to first fully love yourself.

“Notice how the moon affects your energy and manifestations, and capitalize upon these cycles.”

Things are ever changing… and yet somethings are like Groundhogs Day over and over again. Déjà vu over and over. Today was a great day, Archangel Haniel, thank you for bringing me this.  I have noticed how things I do affect my life in certain ways and it keeps happening over and over again.  There are the negative things and then the positive and I am staying focused on the positive part.

So here I am…. realizing the things in my life that are going on…. and I will continue, conquer and live my life and be happy.

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Before I forget I just want to mention something I saw today…. I pray that this forest fire that was on Mass Pike didn’t do more harm than what I already saw.  The pics do no justice it covered a pretty big chunk by the highway – I’m guessing from the extreme heat (95+) and as we slowly passed it the flames just got bigger and bigger.  Strangely, I saw NO cops, NO fire engines, NADA!  What?  And I saw NO news about it tonight while checking on my phone.  So weird.  Hope the damage wasn’t too bad.

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And now for a little fun.  Because who wants to end a blog post with something scary and negative, right?

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I had a very mother/daughter bonding session today.  With not only my own mother and I, but Didi and I as well.  Pets make people happier, live longer, stay healthier…. you laugh more.  They’re just your own little babies – forever.  And I love my little furbaby.  It’s funny because I have been considering getting some more cats/puppies to give Didi some company.  That or do more work at the shelter I work at.

I was gonna go to a “YappyHour” – get it? GET IT? ^_____^ in town today but it was way too hot for an outdoor event and Didi would totally get sick from the heat.  I drove by the event and saw that it was practically empty. Hello!!!??? Excessive heat caused a forest fire today!  I hope they reschedule because it sounds like fun and great to meet new people.

And remember people…. adopt a rescue animal!  There are tons in need of homes because of many situations, a lot of them bad, so please, open up your heart – it’s a win-win situation!

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Didi and I on our walk in her new stroller… and me catching Pokémon! Hahahahahaha…. WE GOT TO CATCH THEM ALL!!!!!

XOXO

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Wed, July 13 2016: Victory!

Winner Winner Pho for Dinner!  But we’ll get to that in a sec…. but I do see that as a victory as well, since I’ve been craving it for over two months!

Today Archangel Sandalphon is in my life and have told me that “[My prayers have been heard and answered.  Have faith.”  Which is SO on point since a big “victory” I would say has recently happened just right before I left Taiwan.  Which made it a lovely trip back.

A weight has been lifted off my heart and shoulders….. that is until I landed in Boston and saw a certain text.  And then some…. I was filled with rage…. and then just sympathy, compassion, forgiveness.  I called my teacher/mentor last night and she talked to me.  She told me just to relax, breath in, breath out, and do some card readings and pendulum readings to help relax me.  The angels were with me last night/early this morning…. and I was finally able to easily rest at 6am.  Obviously, jet lag had something to do with it – and hunger, but today I feel even lighter than I ever have been before.

I think my heart and spirt…. my soul, has been finally healed and I am completely ready to help others.  The stronger and more calm and happy and loving that I become, the more I want to share it with the world, give, give, give and give.  I feel sorry for those who play victim and just want to take and not give back.

I am closer to God and my spirituality than I have been in a very very long time.  And I am so very happy that this change happened to me.  So yes, I have been victorious in so many ways.  I still have a few things to cross over, but I’m getting there – isn’t there always room for improvement?  Growing?  Being a better person?

It’s very important to always remember that.  Just because you achieve one victory doesn’t mean you stop there, you just keep on aiming for more.

Smile.

Guess who else joined me for dinner?  Yup, Luke got me to try the Pokémon Go craze…. and it seems to be getting to me pretty hard LOLOL…. it’s strange how after all these years, Pokémon are smart enough to still get it to viral status.

 

Love and bless you all. XOXO,

Tiffie

And here’s a little something something from my latest fobby crush, Kris Wu[Wu Yi Fan aka 吴亦凡], whom I noticed he was on the EXO-M, korean/mando pop groups and also now an actor, Canadian/Chinese, which I saw him on the plane on Mr. Six.  Here is bad girl…. omg he’s so not my type but he’s so pretty :] I’ll take it… also his music is……. let’s just say his acting is better ;] LOL.

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I adore him with lots of hair and when he dyed it white <3 <3 <3tumblr_inline_nhevve8SMZ1s3hzf8

Also my other latest crush in the past two and a half months has been Taiwanese actor, Darren Wang [Ta Lu Wang aka 王大陸] from the movie Our Times… who is even further away from my type.  But yes yes yes please.  I’ve actually been having tons of dreams about him lately.
*blush* Should I read my cards with him? LOL…..

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Cuties right? Maybe I will start dating asians again……

Monday, July 11 2016: Clairaudience

Today Archangel Zadkiel has told me to “Notice the loving guidance you hear inside you mind, or from other people.”

I’m sorry to people I’ve hurt and bless everyone, those who hate me and love me. I blame myself for all the stress I have caused on anyone and myself.  I am who I am today because of all of you.  Lessons have been learned.  Tears and smiles.  Butterflies in the stomach and heartbreaks.  First kisses and forever goodbyes. Bless everyone.

This trip and these “accidental” classes have not only brought me peace at heart, but I’ve released all the hurt and sadness and despair from my past.  All the anger and hate.  I’ve also learned a new gift.  One to heal, one to answer questions and to help and teach others.  My teacher, aka master, has also told me that I am already, just a month in, ready to go out on my own and help others.  I can speak to the spirits and the angels and I have seen them, God, my past and have seen the future.  I am no longer who I was a month and a half ago. [I say “accidental” because I was only supposed to see my teacher once, but she said she saw my gift and offered me to be an apprentice, a student, now she is ready to teach me how to teach others.]

Btw, I got a new trim, and color to my hair today, yay.. thinking of going lighter ombré… what do you guys think?

Today I asked my angel cards for help and wisdom to guide me today and of course, Michael and Gabriel came up, per usual. They are the best “guardian angels” ever. [BTW. have you guys seen the show Angel from Hell with Sarah Lynch? Most hilarious new show ever! I love her humor! She was amazing on Glee.  I hate that they’re canceling it due to a religious thing, relax guys.  It’s a show.]

That goes on to my next thing.  People need to relax, let loose.  Not get tangled up in a web that just causes more chaos and negativity.  You must think positive.  It’s like my card told me today.  Listen to myself,  my heart, and to those I love and who surround me and send tons of positivity my way.

I am a very lucky girl.  I have a ton of very loving family and friends, and even fans… you guys, yes all of you reading, or not, you guys have supported me, loved me, believed in me for so long – and I plan to always live up to it.  I am so appreciative, actually for everyone who has passed in my life, either who have stayed or left, because I am who I am now because of this. Fate. Karma.

Stay positive.  Bless everyone around you whether they treat you well or not.  And remember to always listen to your heart.  Oh and eat your heart out.

Dinner tonight at Din Tai Fun was uhhh 5+ steamers of xiao long baos [including sweet ones], tons of veggies, pork chops, chicken soup, bamboo, wine chicken, spicy cucumbers, etc etc etc…. there was a ton of food, and I still have a ton next to me that I ordered for a late night snack ;] Enjoy life.  You only live.. once, well, once that you remember [unless under hypnosis] – And yes, I saw a few past lives under hypnosis.

Good night ya’ll ;] LOVE YOU!  I’ll be in the States for a bit soon….. and I’ll also be back in Taiwan for awhile again, soon.

XOXO

 

Thursday July 6, 2016: Today was a new day…

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I’m on another spiritual cleanse so I’m not eating pork, can’t touch water for 12-24 hours and also not talking for 12-24 hours.  But I always end up choosing the longer cleanses…..

Today I asked my angels who my protector would be and it was Archangel Michael.  I have “Crystal Clear Intentions” And I just “Be clear about what [I] desire, and focus upon it with unwavering faith.”

And when asked about what to do with my current situation iI got Archangel Raziel…. who told me to “Take Back Your Power!” and that I should “Use your Food given power and intention to manifest blessings [in] my life.”

Both are so real. Michael is a real protector of people and he has chosen me from the first time me and my teacher met him…. And taking back my power is like a reflection of me taking back my power of my life and not let other affect it like it did yesterday.  I am truly blessed to have these angels in my life who trust me and help me so much…. they speak through me.

I feel reborn.

What I wrote on my facebook wall today:
“I feel completely blessed to have these people and teachers in my life. I have forgiven my past and only look positively to my future. For those who have hurt me I give you my blessing and wish you no harm or ill will, but kindly so, do not ever enter my life again.”

I am over people in my past giving me a hard time and constantly trying to hurt me.  People can just be cowards and it’s ridiculous.  I am past and beyond that… and today during my cleansing I completely released myself.  Forgive, just give off positive energy and just bless even those who try to hurt me.

If you are interested in me helping you with different card readings or crystal pendulum readings, just let me know! misstiffie@gmail.com


Alan Walker – Faded

Currently hurting… This angel card helps…

Thank you my angels and spirits who follow and guide me for leading me on a peaceful happy path toward enlightenment!….  This has been a very healing day for me.  While I’ve had some hurting moments, most of it has been very healing and freeing.

Is this how you view me? : Delittante

I played with my archetype cards today and asked how the world currently viewed me.

Light Attributes: Delights in the arts without having to be a professional.  Alerts you to the danger of becoming superficial in your pursuits.
Shadow Attribute: Pretension to much deeper knowledge than you actually possess.

Is this what you currently see me as?

Friday, July 1, 2016: Life Review

Archangel Jeremiel: “Take inventory of your life, and resolve to change or heal anything that is unbalanced.”

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Today I had class with my spiritual teacher and learned and healed a lot.  Lately the thing that keeps me going and keeps my spirits up is seeing my teacher, my mentor.  I am learning quite fast and she has told me that I have a gift.  While I came to see her, just once, for a cleanse of negativity, she saw more in me.  Today a lot of things came more clear to me, that I need closure.  A change, I need to heal myself because I have been self-punishing myself and letting negativity get to me too much.  This card was straight on.

Tonight I spent a lot of time with family and loved ones.  Laughed and talked a lot and was really happy.  Ate simple but delicious food and just had a wonderful time.  I accepted myself for who I am, and also accepted my flaws and am willing to change them.  I also learned a lot in class today, which has me super excited.  My newest gift/sense is growing larger and larger… my spirituality has grown exponentially and I have changed so much.  Grown a lot and have become closer to God and to loving myself, finally.

I love me. I love my friends and family.  Thanks all to me loving God.