It’s coming…

Once again another birthday is coming on upon me.  I used to go crazy and throw extravagant parties where I would get super dressed up, buy expensive outfits, go to fancy dinners and have crazy club/lounge parties.  Yes, one of them was at a circus-themed club.

As the years have passed, my parties have calmed down and been more casual, to the point where I just stopped and decided to spend my day relaxing.  Vegas with the girls became Maine with my dog. [I guess it’s still going somewhere with one of my “bitches” right? Hahaha…ok I found it funny in my head]

Lately, I’ve lost a lot of faith in friendship with friends, but I’ve also found out how strong some of my true friendships are.

I’ve gone through a lot in the past year and a half, tons of transitions, but in all of that I have been finding myself.  I spent a whole day crying the other day because I was so mad… not at realizing my friend wasn’t really my friend, but that I do so much for people and I never ask for anything back – and I get nothing back.  I realized I had to rethink who to trust, who to love, who to still talk to and who to just give up on.

I try too hard.

Thank you to everyone who was there for me to help me through that situation.

One of my friends, who usually isn’t usually into this emotional hoodoo voodoo stuff said to me “Tiffie, dear, it shouldn’t matter why you’re upset, the fact that you ARE upset is ALL that should matter to a true friend”  And it hit me. it’s true.  I was upset, and hit with reasons why I shouldn’t be upset because I was a worse person.  The whole conversation had nothing to do with who was a bad friend but that’s what it became.

I had written a whole blog post about it, but I’m not that person anymore to rant about that sort of stuff on here anymore.

The whole point of this post is that I’m not the same person I used to be.  Happy silly party girl.  I admit it, it’s sort of disgusting to look back on.  Even a few years ago I was buying designer bags and heels and dressing up every single day… now you’re lucky if you can get me to brush my hair, put on any makeup and wear contacts – HAHA!  Gross, I know… but I like to think of it being me comfortable with ME being ME.

And back to the whole friend thing up above… bye to the negativity in my life.  I keep the good, I don’t care about the bad.

Yup, still gonna say something. Ball is is her court for her to show what kind of person she is.

*Drops the mic*

PS. Arrow and The Flash are the best shows ever. Baby Driver is the best movie I’ve seen in forever.

The end.

Are we in the clear yet? – T.S.

Why do I have the old Spiderman cartoon theme song stuck in my head? No idea.  It’s annoying and entertaining me at the same time, must turn on some good tunes…

I’ve been in a funk of a mood all day and just feeling stupid, with no one to blame but myself that right now I’m in this position.  I know, I know… people make mistakes, learn from them, grow and don’t repeat.  But I just want to press rewind and not have had it happen at all. In fact there were a lot of things that could be changed.

But people are people, as I am a human being, and sometimes we do dumb things.  All we can do is apologize, cross our fingers and hope that everything will be okay.  Because such trivial silly dumb things are things that we can laugh about later in life.  When I feel down about these things I always think of the movie The Fault in our Stars and rub my necklace…. look at my tattoo. Pocketful of Dreams.  Don’t let a small thing ruin something that could be far more amazing.  You only live life once. Forgive. Forget. Love. Laugh. Dance in the Rain. Be happy.

 Good.

…..but I’ll pick you a flower if you like