And so I sit here…

It’s 3:02AM EST time and I’m sitting here watching tv marathons and movies on iTunes and Netflix.  I just finished off a bowl of homemade nachos and guacamole and I’m about to go warm up some more spicy pulled pork I made earlier.  Has this become my life?  This could be the wine talking, or the wandering mind thinking… but this is definitely not where I thought I would be… a year ago, two, three, five, ten? What has happened?

It’s funny how things work. Weight gain made me sad. But I gained weight cuz I’ve been happy. But the weight gain makes me not want to move… so while I eat less, I move less. I’m still not happy with my body. But that could just be my eating disorder talking.  Always in recovery, never fully recovered.

You guys have been with me through so many ups and downs and yet you remain loyal.  So much gratitude.  Love, lust, heartbreaks. Breakdowns and highs. Parties and mournings.

The past year I have been basically mostly living in Taiwan and I’ve forgotten my love for cooking, almost.  I stopped caring a lot about things I used to be so passionate about and I have no real explanation for it… but it’s recently sparked up again.

I cooked duck the other day. And today I had a pulled pork burrito/taco night with pomegranate guacamole, spicy mango pico de gallo with roasted garlic and corn and an extremely spicy salsa verde… along with some yummy gooey blue corn chip nachos.  I started to feel alive again.  I started a cooking idea journal/notebook again…. mainly b/c I was planning to cook for C on his birthday… and while things got in the way, I still got MAD IDEAS to play on.

SO…. I have ideas of doing supper parties.  [And have talked with a chef friend or two about doing pop ups] – I want to, once I move out, host supper/dinner parties, first once a month, and then possibly once a week.  People can BYOB and tell me their diets…. or just leave it up to me.  Hopefully soon after team, up with chefs and cool wine people.

I have so many ambitions and ideas… I want to write, I want to travel, I want to cook, I want to go back to school…. and I want to film it all. I have a secret thing about wanting to be in front of a camera.

So maybe this is how this blog is evolving.  It went from food diary to healthy eating and recipes to eating out and traveling extravagantly …. and then just personal…. me finding my inner peace…. healing and now this.  My lifestyle. Ever evolving.

This blog is now: Finding the real Miss Tiffie.

Please join me in my journey.

“…so what now???”

I was asked this tonight, during dinner. What do I want now?….

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Let’s first talk about what we ate tonight…. we were at The Local, one of my favorites in my area, which I’m sure you have heard me rage about on my facebook, twitter, and probably even on here (although I don’t do quite as many food posts on here anymore)

We started off with the Salt & Pepper Calamari with pickled peppers, ginger salsa, and cilantro…. which was delicious! I kind of wish they didn’t have the sauce on the bottom of the plate though which makes some of it kind of soggy after awhile.  But the plate was HUGE!  They have really upped their portion sizes since they first opened!

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We also had the Roasted Garlic Hummus with “garden vegetables” (today was just carrots and cucumber slices) and grilled pita (which definitely had cardamom in it – which gave it a super “Indian” feel…)  Delicious as usual… just too much EVOO and herbs/garlic in the middle of the hummus, which, I personally stayed clear from.  The hummus was rich, yummy and garlicky enough as it was.

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It was quite tasty…. I love hummus myself, so I was enjoying it like a mofo.  Plus I love carrots and recently found a love again for cucumbers…I think it’s the way they sliced it.

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Then came our entrees.  My lovely lady date got the Herb-Marinated Half Chicken that came with garlic mashed potatoes and over sautéed spinach – which I have had before, so I highly recommended it.  It was loved.  Everything was perfectly seasoned – but, like I said, a HUGE portion.  Seemed a whole lot larger than the last time I got it.

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I was craving beef… and I’ve had the short ribs and the steak tips and the salads with the steak so I noticed they had something new… a Chimichurri Skirt Steak on top of braised kale with steak-cut sweet potato fries.  The steak, while I got it ‘medium rare’ was still cooked medium/medium-well.  Which is why I always ask for things rare to medium rare, or else you’ll just get it well-done and overcooked.

The steak was delicious, as was the chimichurri, though I felt it could’ve been more present – it was pretty…. not “bland” but light. Present, but not really there.  The kale though, tasted overpowering and the salt was just crunching through…. wasn’t my fav.  I stole some spinach from the chicken dish instead.  My dinner date wasn’t too big of a fan of the kale either.  Meh.

[ps. for a nice chimichurri sauce check out Bon Appétit – my fav goto place for inspiration]

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I got a nice Californian Cabernet Sauvignon [Red, duh] which took me forever to sip on. Strangely so. [I’ve been cutting down on my alcohol so it doesn’t take much lately]

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Delicious.

So  now back to the question…. what am I …. wait what?  I think I’m tipsy now.

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Ohhhh so what NOW?!  What now????  After what?  “After taking a chance at love and moving to another country and coming back, so soon after, broken hearted”?  Well, I take that and I continue on. [BTW have you noticed how awesome my hair is? Yay for my new waves/curls]

I can say that I went to another country with full on intentions of nothing but the best… and yes I came home, a bit sad.  I wouldn’t call myself broken.  I’ve been broken so many times, it’s more about who can piece me back together, has the patience to, now, than to say who broke me apart.  How do  you break when you’re already broken?

Am I just damaged goods?

I don’t think so.  I just think that the one who should be with me hasn’t realized it yet.  Or found me yet?! Who knows.  I hope it’s…

… does it even matter who I say, unless it’s mutual?!

So there it is.  A splendid  dinner and a so-so answer to the question asked.

Buenos Noches mis Amores <3

Duck Breast “Confit” Dinner with delicious sides….. and hilarious Taylor Swift “music video” dance by Miss Tiffie at the end