I understand there should be a higher purpose…

But what is mine? Dear God, I struggle with waking up each day knowing I’ll be hit with struggles that I have to smile through and be strong through, but why? I shouldn’t question your plan for my life but sometimes I find myself crying in the shower so the water hides my tears. Why do I not only have to take on my own, many, demons, but others as well?

Smiling, trusting, loving, living…. is getting so much harder now. And yet every morning I get up dreading the day I must endure… and hoping for that random glimmer of happiness and true joy that I get more and more rarely lately. When I smile at you, it’s genuine and real, but I am always crying on the inside. Forever broken.

So I ask you my dear sweet Lord, what is my purpose? Because I’m hurting really bad.

And so I sit here…

It’s 3:02AM EST time and I’m sitting here watching tv marathons and movies on iTunes and Netflix.  I just finished off a bowl of homemade nachos and guacamole and I’m about to go warm up some more spicy pulled pork I made earlier.  Has this become my life?  This could be the wine talking, or the wandering mind thinking… but this is definitely not where I thought I would be… a year ago, two, three, five, ten? What has happened?

It’s funny how things work. Weight gain made me sad. But I gained weight cuz I’ve been happy. But the weight gain makes me not want to move… so while I eat less, I move less. I’m still not happy with my body. But that could just be my eating disorder talking.  Always in recovery, never fully recovered.

You guys have been with me through so many ups and downs and yet you remain loyal.  So much gratitude.  Love, lust, heartbreaks. Breakdowns and highs. Parties and mournings.

The past year I have been basically mostly living in Taiwan and I’ve forgotten my love for cooking, almost.  I stopped caring a lot about things I used to be so passionate about and I have no real explanation for it… but it’s recently sparked up again.

I cooked duck the other day. And today I had a pulled pork burrito/taco night with pomegranate guacamole, spicy mango pico de gallo with roasted garlic and corn and an extremely spicy salsa verde… along with some yummy gooey blue corn chip nachos.  I started to feel alive again.  I started a cooking idea journal/notebook again…. mainly b/c I was planning to cook for C on his birthday… and while things got in the way, I still got MAD IDEAS to play on.

SO…. I have ideas of doing supper parties.  [And have talked with a chef friend or two about doing pop ups] – I want to, once I move out, host supper/dinner parties, first once a month, and then possibly once a week.  People can BYOB and tell me their diets…. or just leave it up to me.  Hopefully soon after team, up with chefs and cool wine people.

I have so many ambitions and ideas… I want to write, I want to travel, I want to cook, I want to go back to school…. and I want to film it all. I have a secret thing about wanting to be in front of a camera.

So maybe this is how this blog is evolving.  It went from food diary to healthy eating and recipes to eating out and traveling extravagantly …. and then just personal…. me finding my inner peace…. healing and now this.  My lifestyle. Ever evolving.

This blog is now: Finding the real Miss Tiffie.

Please join me in my journey.

Can you believe it’s February? 2017?

I have so many posts, “almost finished” on here…. I promise to post my New Years Eve dinner post tonight, but life has just been flying past me.


I feel like this website needs a makeover, do-over, something.  It’s become more of a lifestyle blog than a food blog, although food still is my main love :]  But hey, the older you get, the more life gets in your way.  You grow, evolve… changes.

I’m trying this “healthy” approach to my snacking and randomly missing meals with RXBars and ProteinWorld smoothies… but hell, sometimes I just want my bag of chips to munch on.  My body doesn’t do too well with salty food, so I constantly crave it.  Ahhh, the irony.

2017 has been interesting. I was back in the States before Xmas 2016 but so much drama and blah blah blah… oh and BLAH!… Thankfully I’ve had great people to be there with me and for me [as me for them] during the times.  Love is in the air.  I love you my friends/family.

Anyways just wanna put it out there, I shall be blogging more, cooking more [hopefully]  and I hope I haven’t lost a ton of you….  especially since I’ve been back and forth from Asia and America so much – still figuring out where I wanna end up living at for a “time” or just stick with traveling everywhere :] OK… time to finish my plan for tomorrow’s menu and my NYE Dinner blog post that’s long overdue.

xo always,

I’m back bitches!!!!!!!!


PS. Patriots are DA FUGGING CHAMPIONS……AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This year’s superbowl was unforgettable and epic. Tom Brady for life <3 You know what else was on fire? The wings I made for Superbowl Sunday. Scotch bonnet, garlic, shallots, pineapple, etc…. FIRE <3 Fire like Brady was!!!!! Holla!



Thursday, July 27 2016… All is well… I’m on the right path 

I’ve never had Archangel Metatron as one of the angels that I counted on [I think Supernatural might have been an influence haha]  But I do need to clean my chakras lately since a lot of negativity has been TRYING to influence me.  They haven’t, but they have latched up onto me.

It feels good to feel safe.  Worrying can take over someone’s life and change them completely…  I have recently taken upon a lot of new ventures in jobs and opportunities which may get crazy busy, but I absolutely love it.

Oh my Angel Gabrielle…. always there for me.  I don’t have much more to say than yes, I have my insecurities… I am scared sometimes and I have my doubts, but I know that I can trust on my angels, and especially my guardian angel, to help me out.

This just reinforces the fact that me taking on all of these new ventures was a great thing for me.  I just had a long day of work…. and just finished up some work on Blue Lotus.  I am extremely excited and I just have so many ideas and things I wanna do for the company!

I have not been afraid to express what I want for us and my lovely partner is so great to taking it in and accepting my advice and help.  This is the best partnership to happen and… seriously?!… We be #ladybosses or is it #bossladies?  Either way… Just doing what I wanna do, cuz I gotta do.  All of it.


This does happen a lot, and thank you for letting me being aware.  This happens a lot, it’s definitely something one should always think about.  Sometimes your mind can be clouded by the good advice that is right in front of your face.  Whatever it is that you want, go for it.  Don’t just always think about it, truly go for it, and it will come to you.

I know. I am your example. [insert me in a weird photo]

This is my spiritual gifts.  And it has been helping me a lot.  Learning that I have a lot more to me than I ever thought I have is jut an amazing thing.I can get what I want by knowing what I want, going for what I want, and REALLY going for it. Nothing can stop me.  I know it, NOTHING EVER can stop me.  And whoever tries to get in my way, be warned.

Learning all about the readings, healings and opening up to my natural gift has changed my life forever. I am more in touch with my spirituality, I don’t get mad, I might still wanna get even, but the anger has gone…. the hatred has lifted…. those are just petty things to me that are not worth my valuable time on this earth.

When I am upset, I go to my readings, my cards, my bible, my crystals… or I’ll message my teacher/mentor to talk to.  I am so grateful and thankful for my special gifts, it’s something I always felt in touch with since I was a young child, and I’m glad someone finally saw that in me and wanted to teach me how to use my “powers”.

I get what I want.  Because I deserve it.

This is the best card I’ve gotten today… “Look Inside Yourself” this is the first time I’ve used my fairy cards [I think, at least posted about it] and they are spot on.  I always have lived my life for others… and those others never cared for me.  I’ve lost so much time and life on not living just for me.  I am living for me… I’ve been looking inside myself and seeing WHT I want and going straight for it.  I have goals, and you should too.  Don’t forget to trust your gut instinct and don’t forget that YOU are IMPORTANT too, and even more so.

Look inside yourself…. and love yourself.

Where have you been all of my life?

taylorswift-1989polaroid-13This past week has been absolutely amazing.  All because of this guy.


Yup. Who would’ve thought that meeting a guy on a plane, accepting an apple towards the end of a flight [the airplane food was pretty sad…] and spending almost a whole month with him would lead me to so much happiness.

It’s been over a month and while things have escalated quickly, it just feels so natural and right.  From wandering the streets of Taiwan together, going to Denver, driving to Montana to have Thanksgiving with his family and friends and now him living with me in Boston – It’s been just getting better and stronger with each passing minute.



Who thought a random meeting, could turn into a fling, into a friendship and then something even better.  He is the most amazing thing that has happened to me and I am so very blessed to have him come into my life.  We can be nerdy, gaming, foodie dorks together, perverted and mean to each other as well [haha]…


It’s been such a good ride so far…. I can’t wait for more…. XOXO

PS. Please help support his kendama company Kendama Co. by buying your loved ones and kiddies a kendama, or three for the holidays [or birthday or no reason at all] – If you get it now BEFORE Jan 1, 2016 you can get 10% off using PROMO CODE: MISSTIFFIE


I don’t understand animal cruelty… or ignorant people.

WARNING: Graphic photos and videos!

Let me begin with what made me finally write this blog post. As a huge animal lover, I volunteer at Save A Dog for rescue dogs – and I donate a lot of money to stop animal cruelty and to stop animal testing – my mom, just now, wasn’t sure if she should show me this video or not. It’s been a few minutes and my heart still aches in pain from seeing it.

I still can’t stop hear the screaming cries.  I probably will never get it out of my head. REALLY? DOING THAT? ALIVE?

Not to be racist… I have a lot of Korean friends, but recently a lot of it has been geared towards Korea…  (yes we joke about them eating dogs but actually seeing pics and videos? No bueno!) and other Asian countries. Apparently dogs and cats taste better boiled alive or in pain while they die? Sick. Here’s one petition.

It’s embarrassing being asian right now.  Because I have to see comments like these:

WTF. Did you see the dog skinned alive and WAS STILL ALIVE in the pile of the dead skinned animals?

Screen Shot 2015-05-19 at 10.05.26 PM
Screen Shot 2015-05-19 at 10.05.38 PM
Screen Shot 2015-05-19 at 10.05.49 PM
Screen Shot 2015-05-19 at 10.06.03 PM

Out comes all the racists. NOT ALL ASIANS BEAT CATS AND DOGS AND COOK THEM ALIVE – hell, most of us don’t even eat them.  Ignorant fucks.

Screen Shot 2015-05-19 at 10.11.01 PM
Screen Shot 2015-05-19 at 10.11.07 PM
Screen Shot 2015-05-19 at 10.11.17 PM
Screen Shot 2015-05-19 at 10.11.44 PM
Screen Shot 2015-05-19 at 10.12.01 PM

Cuz no offense, you white people do messed up animal stuff too.

But there have been other super disturbing animal cruelty I’ve seen these days. Smashing them to death, shooting them for fun. Dogs used to train killer dogs. Dogs being dragged by cars on a rope… and people posting facebook pictures, proudly, and smiling with the beautiful hunted down lions, rhinos, giraffes, etc. It’s absolutely sickening.  Animals being burned alive. UGH. Don’t push all this animal cruelty on Asians (and also learn how to write/grammar)

Ok, I’m no angel, I’m a meat-eater, but from what I know where my meat comes from the animals die in a humane way… AND while yes, when I’m in Asia or out eating I might not know but I’m definitely not out hurting animals for fun.  One time I saw a video of a cat put in a pipe and filled with cement with only it’s head out.  I was dying crying. I’ve seen dogs shot and put in a bag and hung on the side of a road to die.  IT IS SICKENING how disgusting humans may be. Poor abused and abandoned animals, we need to fight more for the rights of them – they too, cry, they too, have souls, feel love and are living, beautiful creatures.  People who torture animals should be put away!  Hell, they should be tortured too.

Is it really almost May?

I’ve written posts but none have been published. The past month and a half…. why? A lot has been happening and I’ve been going through a lot of changes (cue: jokes) – And I’m still in the process of going through changes. In fact before the end of summer I’ll have my own apartment, a new job, a ton of new side projects and hopefully my filming/hosting for Flushing Foodie Season 1 will be done.  I can’t wait to travel more and go to more events and concerts (woot!) – I can’t wait to go to Taiwan and *surprise* FINALLY Hong Kong at the end of the year and I just feel like I’ve been re-born the past few weeks.

There is so much craziness going on in thee world, most recently the earthquake in Nepal and this whole Baltimore situation it feels silly to be blogging about food I eat and cook, life being single and pics of my dogs – but I do have to admit I’m basically cooking almost 6 out of the days of the week now – which has definitely been a huge stress relief.  I promise to post more, and to do some food posts again (since people have been asking) – and I’m totally backlogged and have so much to publish, sooooo…. we’ll see :D  BTW, I will be helping out with charity work again at Save A Dog now that the weather is getting better and will be holding a donation stand for Nepal this weekend in my town – if interested in helping out :]

But aside from that I’m excited to see my cousin when he visits me in June, baseball games, beaches, the ocean, bikinis, tans and just the summer sun <3


“Maybe you’re a woman in search of a word.”

It’s pretty public that I’m in love with the book, ‘Eat, Pray, Love’ and equally, if not more in love with the movie… but that could be partially due to the fact that I love Julia Roberts.  Who can resist her addictive smile? But I’m running off topic… remember that part when they talk about words? What’s the word for London? For Rome? For Sweden?  Everyone is asked and when Liz is asked… she’s clueless. Daughter.  Wife. Girlfriend. Writer.

Soon after, at least in the movie, she says “…maybe my word is Pizza” so it got me thinking, ‘What’s MY word?’  And this book has been out for a while, and so has the movie and I still haven’t realized what my word is.  And then today, whilst midst of complaining about being bored about talking about engagements and weddings with my boyfriend, I realized, my word is “Unpredictable”





1. not predictable; not to be foreseen or foretold: an unpredictable occurrence.

2. something that is unpredictable: the unpredictables of life.

Many words have crossed my head or have been told to me about myself. But I know myself best, and I realized that everything I do, including eat and dress, is based on my mood, my emotions and just whatever the hell I feel like. I’m rarely the same person two days in a row, or even a few hours in a row.  Realizing this got me thinking even more… how much I’ve changed in the past 20 something years.

For most of life I’ve been quiet, timid and shy.  I started finding myself at the end of high school and then in college. The process of finding oneself is frightening and exciting at the same time – and HORRIBLE to look back at, especially since photography and the internet was invented. I was totally born in the wrong era.  My words have switched from awkward to shy to bullied to “could be prettier if skinnier” to the “wingman” to the “party girl”

And then one day, somehow, somewhere down the line of graduating college and bad boyfriend after bad boyfriend, good choices, bad ones, being boring and etc…. I truly found myself.  I stopped caring about how other people thought of me and said of me, it’s all been said and done.  I started caring about how I wanted me to be, how I loved me, what made ME happy.  I cut out ALL of the negativity in my life and was reborn.  I didn’t need to try.  I was no longer shy and hiding and no longer OVERLY outgoing. I was me.  When Im happy, you’ll know. When I’m sad, you’ll know. When I’m hungry…. Oh wait I always am, next… When I’m angry, I’ll want to hit you – and you’ll know.  But I am, and always will be, ME. ME. Changing and growing constantly. Just simply, unpredictably me.

What’s your word?

Changes changes changes…..

I mustache you a question….

So how did it go? One of my first truly NON-food posts since my own personal blog.  As much as food is a HUGE part of my life, I want to integrate food, travel and ME into this website.  It’s most certainly time to change and grow.  There’s more to me than just eating, drinking and having fun.  Don’t worry I’ll still have food posts… but I’ll have a little bit more of other parts of me too.  I’ve also been doing more vlogs on youtube and have been posting on socialcam a lot. SO. Especially since Formspring is done and gone… feel free to email me tiffie[at]gmail.com or via  youtube…. or even just comment on here or socialcam or youtube questions… things you want to know about me, food things, fashion things, anything and everything and I’ll try to answer them back… on cam or by post. :]  And of course you know you can always find me on personal facebook, my facebook fanpage or twitter. So join the re-vamping and I hope you like it —- feel free to send ideas my way to make this more enjoyable for you.

Love, your favorite lovable lush,

Miss Tiffie

Not a Food Post: Thoughts on Relationships and Commitment

So this is not a food post. So before you decide to continue reading or not. Here are some recent yummies I’m ingested and digested, and yes pooped out.

Burger Pizza from Sonsie’s

Iberico Jamon from Toro

And most recently I made dinner for BF and I….

Real Black Truffle… this is worth likt 90$

Red Wine Braised Spicy Short Ribs with REAL Truffle whipped cauliflower and roasted brussel sprouts and mushrooms

And our bacon and bacon fat/habanero scrambled egg fest the next day

Oh, and my Easter Duck from Sel de la Terre

Anyways now it’s gonna get deep. So prepare to either enjoy or not enjoy. I said I wanted to grow this website into a little more than just food soooo……. here’s a go at it

So I was talking to one of my friends today…. and somehow it got into threesomes.  He was saying how I’m young and should experiment if I’m attracted, etc, so why not.  I said I doubted I could do it with anyone I had feelings for. He said that he had a girlfriend for a few years and threesomes made them bond anymore.  Which led me into asking him why he wasn’t with her anymore.  And while there were plenty of reasons he could give me, um, him being incredibly good looking and personable – just two off the top of my head… he said cuz he was only 98% in love with her.  Granted they were in their early-mid 20s at the time, which isn’t THAT young but I guess it can and can’t be for this day and age…. but she wanted marriage and babies and he told me he knew he was 100% and wouldn’t want all of that later on with her.  He loved her, she was great, but only 98%……

For some reason it hit a trigger in me and got me thinking.  I was just taking a long hot shower. [fine fine be dirty, imagine it] And I was thinking about my past relationships and what an old boyfriend had said to me.  My first boyfriend after college told me to “never settle” and it’s stuck with me. For 8 long years it’s stuck with me.  I remember it clearly, we were walking into my apartment in Harvard Sq. talking about being in relationships, exes and being happy and he said “Its important to just never settle.” And honestly I think a lot of people I know just settled.  Which is why my friend, today, reminded me again of this.  Settling isn’t good for both sides of the party aka relationship.

So then it got me thinking even more…. I thought I was going to marry my first boyfriend.  I had my first kiss when I was 16.  A month after I graduated high school. Yep.  I admit it.  And after that first heartbreak it was guy after guy that wanted to marry me and have babies with me and then I’d run away.  I was dubbed a commitmentphobe and a “guy” by my friends.  Can you believe that?  How many girls would immediately jump at the idea of getting married, eloping and having babies with a guy? Not me. Why?  NOT FULLY THERE.  So, see, back to my friend saying “98%” how much percentage have I been with each guy?

DOOD. I had a guy I wanted to break up with try to get me to stay with him by telling me the engagement ring he was about to propose to me with and saying that he wanted to give me a baby boy. UH. Total turn off. Telling me you wanna give me a baby when trying to seduce me is NOT my kind of foreplay.

And then it brings me on to another thought.  Last weekend I was having a girls day with one of my girlfriends and we were talking about marriage.  I think I’ve been thru maybe 6 or 7 boyfriends since I’ve known her. Awkward right? I’m such a serial relationshipper… I don’t really date. If you don’t interest me, we won’t make it thru a date. Continuing on.  Maybe a fling or two here and there, fun times are always good times, but I like being in love – feeling needed, taking care of someone…. thinking of someone and just smiling.  OH KAY. Enough of that.  She’s been married for almost 10 years.  She had her first kid in High School, got married, went to college and just recently had another boy two years ago.  She said it got hard in the marriage around the 7th year but the reason why they’re so strong is because they’re best friends. BEST FRIENDS.

That’s another topic I want to hit upon.  I want guys I date to become my BEST FRIEND.  I had one guy who refused to be friends with me unless we were in a relationship.  It turned out SHIT so I won’t get into that.  I partially blame the whole pre-friendship/no more respect thing.  OR maybe I’m just a bitch.  Either way.  Doesn’t work for me.

So back to the not settling thing… I realized that I’ve known a lot of guys who not settled… but also a handful of guys who ended relationships cuz while they were happy, they weren’t the right one.  I guess just made me think a lot.

[EDIT] I don’t date guys and be in relationships just to BE IN one… I don’t NEED to be in one.  I’m like one of those disney princess movies that always believe in a happy ending but just end up getting more jaded and fucked up.  I want a best friend. A great lover. A partner in crime. Someone I enjoy life with, not complete.  I can take care of myself, I’m a big girl.  I want a great guy to compliment me and me to compliment him. [/EDIT]

Btw, this friend of mine I’m talking about [first paragraph] told me that Santa may have come from some big Shrooms high amongst other things.


On that note.

Stay swaggie.

PS. This blog post has NOTHING to do with my current relationship – which is a happy one.  And a private one. J + I are awesome. That’s all.