What makes you “normal”?

One of my best friends asked me “What is normal?” the other day when I said that I wasn’t “normal”.  I told him that being normal was weird, because what is normal? WHAT IS NORMAL?

I’m not normal, I don’t think I ever have been.  For a brief moment in my life I wanted to be… seriously, it’s hilarious.  I wanted to be a cheerleader and “popular” and date the cutest guy in school.  But I was far from it.  I was a geek, a nerd, an outcast, I couldn’t dress, I was super awkward, but I was me.

I was the girl who begged my mom to go to a school dance and when I finally got to go to one, everyone had someone to dance with except me…  no one would touch me with a ten foot pole.  Totally scarring as a pre-teen, totally glad I didn’t dance with any of those gross guys now.

But, look at me now.  My past made me strong.  And my own mind kept my strength up.

My mother asked me today why I look so unhappy all the time lately… I was playing some game on my phone… I told her, I had a “sadness”.  She asked me, “What right do YOU have to have a sadness inside you?”  I didn’t answer her.  I don’t need to.  I don’t need to answer to anyone why I have this sadness in me… It’s been in me since I can remember.  I have a sadness but also a light; Which is why I still live on, strong, with hope and optimism.

There’s a sadness that has always been there, but I blame no one for it but myself for letting it linger.  I want no pity, no worry, no “special care” for it.  I know what’s wrong with me, that’s why I’m okay with who I am and why I can handle myself and take care of myself.

I am a stronger woman because of this.  And just because I have sadness that overcomes and consumes within me doesn’t mean I don’t have happiness that keeps me continuing on in life.

ps. I look cute today.

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Yay to 5 Seconds of Summer tank top, Harry Styles necklace and Liam Payne makeup.  I just tried the eyeshadows and lipgloss but it was fun.  Someone needs to teach me how to do makeup because I’m lazy AF about it and I know nothing about contouring.  Amanda,  you makeup guru, help me!

♥ ♡ ♥ ♡ Happy Birthday Mommy!!!! ♡ ♥ ♡ ♥

Once upon a time…. a baby was born into the world…. on September 23, 19xx – She was a fiesty stubborn girl who grew up to be a fine, well educated lady, sister, daughter, wife, friend, and above all else, a mother.

To the one who brought me into this world…. and loved me for every second.  Who, now even at my age, looks at me and sees a sweet innocent naive girl (Every once in awhile haha).

To the one who will play dress up with me and attend events.

And vacation with me and make goofy selfie faces.

The the courageous tiny little 5’2″ woman who gave birth to me….. someone who turned out to be 5’7.5″

Where we can both wear shirts so tacky we make it look GOOD!!!! #swag

The loving “grandma” to my baby… my daughter, Dior (Didi) my furbaby!

To the lady who has stayed forever young in my eyes.  And the most honest (sometimes to a fault) but blunt and intelligent (sometimes irrational but aren’t we all?)

Who will be goofy and wear surgical masks with me in Asia….

….And of course someone who will take a bathroom mirror selfie with me. (ps I got my legs from her HEE HEE)

Thank you, my beautiful mommy for bringing me into this world and have strung along me through the good and the bad the whole time.  Even when we had very little you gave me everything, the world, and then some.  You have let me travel places, eat anything, brought tears to my eyes from telling me you love me and also when I feel like I have disappointed you.  While we bicker and fight a lot, I know that you do it through love and I love you as well.  Happy Birthday you are the greatest and you deserve the best – sorry I haven’t always been the best daughter to you but I will try.  I promise. I don’t know if I’ll ever be as great of a woman you have been so far but I will try.  I love you.

xoxo,
Your Baby, Always, Tiffany