And so I sit here…

It’s 3:02AM EST time and I’m sitting here watching tv marathons and movies on iTunes and Netflix.  I just finished off a bowl of homemade nachos and guacamole and I’m about to go warm up some more spicy pulled pork I made earlier.  Has this become my life?  This could be the wine talking, or the wandering mind thinking… but this is definitely not where I thought I would be… a year ago, two, three, five, ten? What has happened?

It’s funny how things work. Weight gain made me sad. But I gained weight cuz I’ve been happy. But the weight gain makes me not want to move… so while I eat less, I move less. I’m still not happy with my body. But that could just be my eating disorder talking.  Always in recovery, never fully recovered.

You guys have been with me through so many ups and downs and yet you remain loyal.  So much gratitude.  Love, lust, heartbreaks. Breakdowns and highs. Parties and mournings.

The past year I have been basically mostly living in Taiwan and I’ve forgotten my love for cooking, almost.  I stopped caring a lot about things I used to be so passionate about and I have no real explanation for it… but it’s recently sparked up again.

I cooked duck the other day. And today I had a pulled pork burrito/taco night with pomegranate guacamole, spicy mango pico de gallo with roasted garlic and corn and an extremely spicy salsa verde… along with some yummy gooey blue corn chip nachos.  I started to feel alive again.  I started a cooking idea journal/notebook again…. mainly b/c I was planning to cook for C on his birthday… and while things got in the way, I still got MAD IDEAS to play on.

SO…. I have ideas of doing supper parties.  [And have talked with a chef friend or two about doing pop ups] – I want to, once I move out, host supper/dinner parties, first once a month, and then possibly once a week.  People can BYOB and tell me their diets…. or just leave it up to me.  Hopefully soon after team, up with chefs and cool wine people.

I have so many ambitions and ideas… I want to write, I want to travel, I want to cook, I want to go back to school…. and I want to film it all. I have a secret thing about wanting to be in front of a camera.

So maybe this is how this blog is evolving.  It went from food diary to healthy eating and recipes to eating out and traveling extravagantly …. and then just personal…. me finding my inner peace…. healing and now this.  My lifestyle. Ever evolving.

This blog is now: Finding the real Miss Tiffie.

Please join me in my journey.

Wed, July 13 2016: Victory!

Winner Winner Pho for Dinner!  But we’ll get to that in a sec…. but I do see that as a victory as well, since I’ve been craving it for over two months!

Today Archangel Sandalphon is in my life and have told me that “[My prayers have been heard and answered.  Have faith.”  Which is SO on point since a big “victory” I would say has recently happened just right before I left Taiwan.  Which made it a lovely trip back.

A weight has been lifted off my heart and shoulders….. that is until I landed in Boston and saw a certain text.  And then some…. I was filled with rage…. and then just sympathy, compassion, forgiveness.  I called my teacher/mentor last night and she talked to me.  She told me just to relax, breath in, breath out, and do some card readings and pendulum readings to help relax me.  The angels were with me last night/early this morning…. and I was finally able to easily rest at 6am.  Obviously, jet lag had something to do with it – and hunger, but today I feel even lighter than I ever have been before.

I think my heart and spirt…. my soul, has been finally healed and I am completely ready to help others.  The stronger and more calm and happy and loving that I become, the more I want to share it with the world, give, give, give and give.  I feel sorry for those who play victim and just want to take and not give back.

I am closer to God and my spirituality than I have been in a very very long time.  And I am so very happy that this change happened to me.  So yes, I have been victorious in so many ways.  I still have a few things to cross over, but I’m getting there – isn’t there always room for improvement?  Growing?  Being a better person?

It’s very important to always remember that.  Just because you achieve one victory doesn’t mean you stop there, you just keep on aiming for more.

Smile.

Guess who else joined me for dinner?  Yup, Luke got me to try the Pokémon Go craze…. and it seems to be getting to me pretty hard LOLOL…. it’s strange how after all these years, Pokémon are smart enough to still get it to viral status.

 

Love and bless you all. XOXO,

Tiffie

And here’s a little something something from my latest fobby crush, Kris Wu[Wu Yi Fan aka 吴亦凡], whom I noticed he was on the EXO-M, korean/mando pop groups and also now an actor, Canadian/Chinese, which I saw him on the plane on Mr. Six.  Here is bad girl…. omg he’s so not my type but he’s so pretty :] I’ll take it… also his music is……. let’s just say his acting is better ;] LOL.

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I adore him with lots of hair and when he dyed it white <3 <3 <3tumblr_inline_nhevve8SMZ1s3hzf8

Also my other latest crush in the past two and a half months has been Taiwanese actor, Darren Wang [Ta Lu Wang aka 王大陸] from the movie Our Times… who is even further away from my type.  But yes yes yes please.  I’ve actually been having tons of dreams about him lately.
*blush* Should I read my cards with him? LOL…..

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Cuties right? Maybe I will start dating asians again……

Indulging at uzna omom; harajuku pancake

Recently I discovered a new place in Taipei…and the smells and the menu looked quite alluring….

The wait is quite long, it is indeed a new place, but I was ready to wait.  I was dying of hunger, but I needed to try this place.

The decor was adorable!!!

Aren’t the ceiling fans freaking adorable? I love this place, it was just so warm and cozy [minus the fact that the AC was turned up super high – haha – on the inside I was warm and cozy]

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I ordered a sparkling white grape juice with no sugar – which is sad cuz they added so much lemon in it, I could barely taste grape, it was basically lemonade.

I ordered a cooked spinach salad with smoked duck.. it came with a delicious creamy corn soup and two pancakes [they are famous for their pancakes]  All was delicious!!! Although the spinach was barely cooked so it was basically raw.. but they did add a few mushrooms slices, which was nice… and the duck was delicious, just wish there were more.

For tea time places, I wish there was always choses when it came to soup – I’m not a creamy soup person – I’m lactose intolerant – but I did enjoy this soup.  And pancakes were delish!

Also ordered a side dish of broccoli with shrimp and some mushrooms… and some bacon.  It was overly salty, I think they accidentally salted it twice or thrice, cuz it was painfully salty.

The next concoction was this coffee with shaved ice and condensed milk. Gorgeous and delish!!!

For dessert i had the Honolulu Soufflé pancake and it was smothered in a delicious cream and caramel-y sauce, and crushed macadamia nuts. OMG it was SO GOOD, but extremely filling.  Half of this filled me up like no other. SO RECOMMEND THIS!!!!

I’d say come here for the desserts/pancakes and amazing matcha tea lattes and stuff but don’t expect a lot from the savory.  The desserts are delicious!!!!

BTW like my new cell phone case?  She wanted a selfie!

“…so what now???”

I was asked this tonight, during dinner. What do I want now?….

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Let’s first talk about what we ate tonight…. we were at The Local, one of my favorites in my area, which I’m sure you have heard me rage about on my facebook, twitter, and probably even on here (although I don’t do quite as many food posts on here anymore)

We started off with the Salt & Pepper Calamari with pickled peppers, ginger salsa, and cilantro…. which was delicious! I kind of wish they didn’t have the sauce on the bottom of the plate though which makes some of it kind of soggy after awhile.  But the plate was HUGE!  They have really upped their portion sizes since they first opened!

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We also had the Roasted Garlic Hummus with “garden vegetables” (today was just carrots and cucumber slices) and grilled pita (which definitely had cardamom in it – which gave it a super “Indian” feel…)  Delicious as usual… just too much EVOO and herbs/garlic in the middle of the hummus, which, I personally stayed clear from.  The hummus was rich, yummy and garlicky enough as it was.

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It was quite tasty…. I love hummus myself, so I was enjoying it like a mofo.  Plus I love carrots and recently found a love again for cucumbers…I think it’s the way they sliced it.

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Then came our entrees.  My lovely lady date got the Herb-Marinated Half Chicken that came with garlic mashed potatoes and over sautéed spinach – which I have had before, so I highly recommended it.  It was loved.  Everything was perfectly seasoned – but, like I said, a HUGE portion.  Seemed a whole lot larger than the last time I got it.

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I was craving beef… and I’ve had the short ribs and the steak tips and the salads with the steak so I noticed they had something new… a Chimichurri Skirt Steak on top of braised kale with steak-cut sweet potato fries.  The steak, while I got it ‘medium rare’ was still cooked medium/medium-well.  Which is why I always ask for things rare to medium rare, or else you’ll just get it well-done and overcooked.

The steak was delicious, as was the chimichurri, though I felt it could’ve been more present – it was pretty…. not “bland” but light. Present, but not really there.  The kale though, tasted overpowering and the salt was just crunching through…. wasn’t my fav.  I stole some spinach from the chicken dish instead.  My dinner date wasn’t too big of a fan of the kale either.  Meh.

[ps. for a nice chimichurri sauce check out Bon Appétit – my fav goto place for inspiration]

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I got a nice Californian Cabernet Sauvignon [Red, duh] which took me forever to sip on. Strangely so. [I’ve been cutting down on my alcohol so it doesn’t take much lately]

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Delicious.

So  now back to the question…. what am I …. wait what?  I think I’m tipsy now.

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Ohhhh so what NOW?!  What now????  After what?  “After taking a chance at love and moving to another country and coming back, so soon after, broken hearted”?  Well, I take that and I continue on. [BTW have you noticed how awesome my hair is? Yay for my new waves/curls]

I can say that I went to another country with full on intentions of nothing but the best… and yes I came home, a bit sad.  I wouldn’t call myself broken.  I’ve been broken so many times, it’s more about who can piece me back together, has the patience to, now, than to say who broke me apart.  How do  you break when you’re already broken?

Am I just damaged goods?

I don’t think so.  I just think that the one who should be with me hasn’t realized it yet.  Or found me yet?! Who knows.  I hope it’s…

… does it even matter who I say, unless it’s mutual?!

So there it is.  A splendid  dinner and a so-so answer to the question asked.

Buenos Noches mis Amores <3

Fairy Tales don’t always have happy endings….

How does one start a story…

And why does anyone have to end one?

Today, I had a delicious al dente [perfectly so] spaghetti dish with tons of mushrooms and truffle [but not overly so as if they had to compensate for something – plus I saw black spots, so it seemed real] and some broccoli [I got them greens in! LOL] Just this cute little cafe, Sugar Cafe, across the street from my – soon to be not-apartment.

I had a heart to heart to one of my close relatives and we talked about a lot. I opened up a lot. I don’t usually do that, my secrets, my horrors, my pains, I like to keep to my own.

I thought that moving to Taiwan would’ve been my re-birth, but it turns out… leaving Taiwan is my true “phoenix moment”

I feel like I’m in some weird reality tv show that isn’t being filmed – but should be. And yet so much I don’t want anyone to know because it is my own private story.  All I can say, is that, things happened which ached hearts and broke trust.  It’s easy to say, but hard to realize.  And while I pray, I’ve prayed so hard, more than I have in the past few years… I have learned to accept it.

So now what? How do I end this story? Tears have been constantly streaming down my face… but I’m accepting it. I AM ACCEPTING IT. This is life. THIS IS LIFE. This is my life. And heart broken more than it ever has been… but I can’t fight anymore.  I thought I was strong but my strength has been used up …. What will be is what will be.

Thank you to my loves for all the support, motivation and love.

My soon-to-be-not-apartment smells like delicious curry that my love made today.  I’m sure I’ll be chewing on that and packing in the morning.  He’s an amazing cook.

And that’s how the post is gonna end. Without a real ending… there is no real ending, there is only the future.

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Happy Vday: Testing Love

Recently I’ve been tested on the test of love.

It was hard.

There were tears.

There was heartbreak.

There was also hurt that I’ve never felt before.

And yet, we rose above it.  And after telling each other to give each other a few days, it took less than that to know that we wanted, needed, had to be together.

We talked. We made up. We promised to communicate more and fix and that’s how life and all sorts of relationships work.  Not just in love.

Happy Valentines Day from Taiwan…. instead of the usual…. we stayed in bed til dinner time and then we had super spicy, potent, Indian food… walked around in the cold rain…. went to a “speakeasy” and went home…. all while wearing “he & she” shirts I bought last night at Shilin Market.

We definitely love each other….

True love…. right?!

Ok, he’s asleep… and all I wanna do is just cuddle him instead of this bottle of wine cuz I’m so wide awake AF…. ARGH LOL….

 

What else is there to Canadia other than Ice Hockey and Mooses..

POUTINE!!!!

The first time I had it was in 2012 in Windsor, Canaaaaadia… literally 5 minutes away from where I was staying in Detroit. At a little place called Frenchy’s Poutinery.  I’ve heard about this creation but never had it.  And when I was living in Seattle and going to Vancouver all the time, I was too little to even care about food.

Look at me, all dressed up and excited to go.

I think we ordered a few meats on here.  It was messy, gooey and over-flowing.  When I think of gravy, I think of Thanksgiving gravy… thick, dense and heavy…. but poutine gravy is more like a thicker jus.  The fries got soggy after a bit since it got so covered with stuff…..

So, now comes the part of the review.  I recently went to Ontario/Niagra Falls with family and was told by C that I had to hit up Smoke’s Poutinerie. HAD TO.  I was so sick that morning from being so underdressed and cold and smoke covered at the casino the night before… but I HAD TO GO TO CANADA FOR POUTINE!

I ended up getting an original one.  Simple.  Crispy fries.  Chunks of cheese curds and that light thin gravy I talked about earlier.  It was like 4pm and my first meal of the day – the fam weren’t too into it but I loved it.  I liked that the fries stayed crispy :] YUM!

And of course I left my mark! @misstiffie

So as soon as L saw me post pictures of poutine, he got poutine-envy; So for July 4th, I made a mini poutine bar for the party he threw.  I make a mean double fried fries :]  And in the back I had a mushroom gravy which I thinned down with chicken stock – and I added some white pepper for more of a bite.

My 40 (but not a Colt) – Bigger than K and I’s head

My first bowl.  My skinny rosemary fries, cheese curds (ranch flavored but I couldn’t taste it), my gravy, pulled pork and topped with crumbled chunks of crispy bacon!  I even microwaved it a bit so the curds would get super gooey!!!

I also made some fresh watermelon margaritas for everyone.

Ps. Don’t let a drunk person piggyback you while you’re drunk in a crowded area.

Pps. if that lady who wanted to hit me ever reads this. You still suck.

So yay for Canada for actually having a few cool things, even though it’s still really easy to “blame Canada” and make fun of Canada eh… HAH :]