Why do I not date anymore?

So after my last relationship a few years ago, I completely stopped dating. Why? No no no, it’s not what you think, I was just sick of it. Plus I’m saving myself for a K-pop Idol…

Jokes aside, what’s the point anymore? I’ve dated every single type of guy and I didn’t want any of them. Wait, hold up, that sounded stuck up… it’s not like that. BUT compatibility wise and everything, nothing ever added up. PLUS, I’m prone to finding guys with severe anger management/jealousy issues.

SO.

I will wait….

And wait…

And not get heart broken, or hurt – in many ways – until I meet the guy, if I ever do, that I should be with.

Contrary to popular ex-bf belief, I’m not a commitmentphobe. I’m a THEM-phone. HAHAHA….

Til next time…

I love myself and I’m happy with where I’m at.

Can you be an optimistic sad person?

I have always been the ‘glass half full’ type of girl. My whole life, after being bullied, abused, ridiculed, belittled, talked down upon, faced racism, sexism, been hated for just being me, etc… I always tell myself every morning, with a smile on my face, today is a new day.

OK, fine, I’m lying, I don’t always wake up with a smile on my face, or think that this new day will be any better… but I DO keep trying to tell myself that. Isn’t that a thing? Think positive, positive things will happen? BTW, a lie, but also I do believe think negative and negative things will happen.

I’m having an……………… OK streak.

I’d say bad but it’s not all that bad, it’s been awful but I have my good moments. With all the bad moments in life, I love to only remember the best, greatest moments. The best moments are the ones that made me glow and smile from within…. Nothing money or success or fame can buy. They’re the moments, usually the small ones that make me so happy to have lived my life as I have.

Never live in your negative past memories and thoughts, or you will be miserable your whole life. I’ve had so many bad things happen to me and have met bad people, but I only want to remember the good. You might think I’m being naive or stupid, or avoiding the bad… Not avoiding the bad… the bad happened, and I will avoid it ever happening again. I just don’t need to drown in my own sorrows, self-pity, woe, whatever it is.

Not worth it. I’d rather eat something decadent and worry about my waistline [haha]

This past year has been so rough for me, emotionally…physically, and the physical also influenced the emotional. Brave face, brave mind, brave heart. I’ll survive. Life goes on…

Can we talk about this Mukbang sensation?

Before we start, watch Jin’s “Epiphany” and I won’t judge you on crying and dying on how amazing and jaw dropping it is…. i wanna cry each time…

DED*

I will be the first to admit, last year I finally gave into the craze of watching mukbangs.  Being a recovery “eating disordered” and also food obsessive person, this made sense.  And honestly, I am SO DEEP!  And not only in just the food, I find myself just listening to them talk and me NOT drooling over the food they are eating.  Early on I was obsessed with ASMR and would play them to help me sleep and I honestly find myself not as drawn towards it.

I still LOVE Food ASMR, the chewing and crunching is SO SO satisfying, as long as it’s not in person, to me… but to be honest I just love seeing people eat and be able.

AS YOU KNOW, my latest craze is BTS, uh DUH, who isn’t in love with them?!… but just going on youtube and watching them eat [type: eat bts, or even better, my BIAS, eat jin!  and eat jungkook… or eat taehyung/v… lol] ANYWAYS…

I just love seeing people eat.  I’m not sure if it’s helping my eating disorder or not, but it’s DAMN SATISFYING!

HOW AM I SO ATTRACTED TO MALES EATING?!

It’s a thing.

It’s a my kinda thing, I love guys who eat well… [btw, I do get annoyed at ppl who eat ICK, sorry past bf who annoyed me, but it’s also a thing] BUT I LOVE A GUY WHO CAN EAT WELL and look super cute doing so.

I can eat a lot.  Wanna date me?  Eat more than me… and also eat what I cook HAHAHA cuz I love to cook!

I duno where this blog is going, I haven’t blogged in awhile.  People have been asking me so many things… why aren’t you dating?  What have you been doing?  What happened to food blogs?  Why are you not really on social media? etc etc… I duno, I just felt like it I guess.  My last real relationship was over 2 years ago TBH, the last time I went on a date was like…. a year ago?  Maybe more?

OK back tho this whole eating shizz. Someone do a mukbang with me?  I look ugly eating so I need someone with me to do one.

I good.

I’ll just save me for BTS. [haha I kid.]

Just haven’t had the moment.

Currently busy with life, work and living situation [in the process of moving] and plus I travel a lot, SO……

OKAY so before I finally go to bed, since it’s 5am, EAST COAST TIME… [yes I’m currently in Boston still, figuring out my new living sitch] let’s just bang bang to this song… still unsure about L.A. and France times at the moment, but currently adding Saipan to the list of go-to’s for this year….

I’m also fat lately. I need to diet. FML.

Sorry guys…

I have failed at blogging anymore. Expect a blog and/or vlog this weekend :D Planning, planning, planning.. planning an unplanned one.  Whenever I feel inspired, I guess.  I’ve just been busy with life… love ya’ll <3

If you are curious about my life, add my snapchat [misstiffie] or follow me on instagram, I post a lot of stories daily :] – both are username misstiffie!

But I leave you with some BTS <3 Cuz who doesn’t love them? Haha…