It’s coming…

Once again another birthday is coming on upon me.  I used to go crazy and throw extravagant parties where I would get super dressed up, buy expensive outfits, go to fancy dinners and have crazy club/lounge parties.  Yes, one of them was at a circus-themed club.

As the years have passed, my parties have calmed down and been more casual, to the point where I just stopped and decided to spend my day relaxing.  Vegas with the girls became Maine with my dog. [I guess it’s still going somewhere with one of my “bitches” right? Hahaha…ok I found it funny in my head]

Lately, I’ve lost a lot of faith in friendship with friends, but I’ve also found out how strong some of my true friendships are.

I’ve gone through a lot in the past year and a half, tons of transitions, but in all of that I have been finding myself.  I spent a whole day crying the other day because I was so mad… not at realizing my friend wasn’t really my friend, but that I do so much for people and I never ask for anything back – and I get nothing back.  I realized I had to rethink who to trust, who to love, who to still talk to and who to just give up on.

I try too hard.

Thank you to everyone who was there for me to help me through that situation.

One of my friends, who usually isn’t usually into this emotional hoodoo voodoo stuff said to me “Tiffie, dear, it shouldn’t matter why you’re upset, the fact that you ARE upset is ALL that should matter to a true friend”  And it hit me. it’s true.  I was upset, and hit with reasons why I shouldn’t be upset because I was a worse person.  The whole conversation had nothing to do with who was a bad friend but that’s what it became.

I had written a whole blog post about it, but I’m not that person anymore to rant about that sort of stuff on here anymore.

The whole point of this post is that I’m not the same person I used to be.  Happy silly party girl.  I admit it, it’s sort of disgusting to look back on.  Even a few years ago I was buying designer bags and heels and dressing up every single day… now you’re lucky if you can get me to brush my hair, put on any makeup and wear contacts – HAHA!  Gross, I know… but I like to think of it being me comfortable with ME being ME.

And back to the whole friend thing up above… bye to the negativity in my life.  I keep the good, I don’t care about the bad.

Yup, still gonna say something. Ball is is her court for her to show what kind of person she is.

*Drops the mic*

PS. Arrow and The Flash are the best shows ever. Baby Driver is the best movie I’ve seen in forever.

The end.

And so I sit here…

It’s 3:02AM EST time and I’m sitting here watching tv marathons and movies on iTunes and Netflix.  I just finished off a bowl of homemade nachos and guacamole and I’m about to go warm up some more spicy pulled pork I made earlier.  Has this become my life?  This could be the wine talking, or the wandering mind thinking… but this is definitely not where I thought I would be… a year ago, two, three, five, ten? What has happened?

It’s funny how things work. Weight gain made me sad. But I gained weight cuz I’ve been happy. But the weight gain makes me not want to move… so while I eat less, I move less. I’m still not happy with my body. But that could just be my eating disorder talking.  Always in recovery, never fully recovered.

You guys have been with me through so many ups and downs and yet you remain loyal.  So much gratitude.  Love, lust, heartbreaks. Breakdowns and highs. Parties and mournings.

The past year I have been basically mostly living in Taiwan and I’ve forgotten my love for cooking, almost.  I stopped caring a lot about things I used to be so passionate about and I have no real explanation for it… but it’s recently sparked up again.

I cooked duck the other day. And today I had a pulled pork burrito/taco night with pomegranate guacamole, spicy mango pico de gallo with roasted garlic and corn and an extremely spicy salsa verde… along with some yummy gooey blue corn chip nachos.  I started to feel alive again.  I started a cooking idea journal/notebook again…. mainly b/c I was planning to cook for C on his birthday… and while things got in the way, I still got MAD IDEAS to play on.

SO…. I have ideas of doing supper parties.  [And have talked with a chef friend or two about doing pop ups] – I want to, once I move out, host supper/dinner parties, first once a month, and then possibly once a week.  People can BYOB and tell me their diets…. or just leave it up to me.  Hopefully soon after team, up with chefs and cool wine people.

I have so many ambitions and ideas… I want to write, I want to travel, I want to cook, I want to go back to school…. and I want to film it all. I have a secret thing about wanting to be in front of a camera.

So maybe this is how this blog is evolving.  It went from food diary to healthy eating and recipes to eating out and traveling extravagantly …. and then just personal…. me finding my inner peace…. healing and now this.  My lifestyle. Ever evolving.

This blog is now: Finding the real Miss Tiffie.

Please join me in my journey.

♥ ♡ ♥ ♡ Happy Birthday Mommy!!!! ♡ ♥ ♡ ♥

Once upon a time…. a baby was born into the world…. on September 23, 19xx – She was a fiesty stubborn girl who grew up to be a fine, well educated lady, sister, daughter, wife, friend, and above all else, a mother.

To the one who brought me into this world…. and loved me for every second.  Who, now even at my age, looks at me and sees a sweet innocent naive girl (Every once in awhile haha).

To the one who will play dress up with me and attend events.

And vacation with me and make goofy selfie faces.

The the courageous tiny little 5’2″ woman who gave birth to me….. someone who turned out to be 5’7.5″

Where we can both wear shirts so tacky we make it look GOOD!!!! #swag

The loving “grandma” to my baby… my daughter, Dior (Didi) my furbaby!

To the lady who has stayed forever young in my eyes.  And the most honest (sometimes to a fault) but blunt and intelligent (sometimes irrational but aren’t we all?)

Who will be goofy and wear surgical masks with me in Asia….

….And of course someone who will take a bathroom mirror selfie with me. (ps I got my legs from her HEE HEE)

Thank you, my beautiful mommy for bringing me into this world and have strung along me through the good and the bad the whole time.  Even when we had very little you gave me everything, the world, and then some.  You have let me travel places, eat anything, brought tears to my eyes from telling me you love me and also when I feel like I have disappointed you.  While we bicker and fight a lot, I know that you do it through love and I love you as well.  Happy Birthday you are the greatest and you deserve the best – sorry I haven’t always been the best daughter to you but I will try.  I promise. I don’t know if I’ll ever be as great of a woman you have been so far but I will try.  I love you.

xoxo,
Your Baby, Always, Tiffany

Birthday, Life sometimes sucks, Stay positive!!!

And for all those who knows me, I literally celebrate all freaking month!  I’d say it all started with going to me buying myself Yankees vs Red Sox tickets, 3rd row VIP 5 Seconds of Summer tickets and amazing One Direction tickets.  Hey if I can’t get a guy to take care of me, I can do it myself.

SO the original plan was Napa Valley.  But a few things came up (family stuff) so I’ll have to celebrate here in Massachusetts.  Hey, I’m not getting any younger so might as well do it up the fun way. Dave & Buster’s in Woburn.  So anytime after 3pm please feel free to come by… it’ll probably for awhile….thinking of a place for dinner, but it may be intimate or just not necessary :]

Dave & Buster’s
271 Mishawum Road, Woburn, MA 01801
(781) 496-4900

Anytime after 3PM – May post about brunch or watch twitter or FB about earlier…..

Recently I have been letting a lot of negativity go in my life and focusing of the positive… I’ve been having  relaxing days at work, thought things through, meditated a bit and all the negativity in me just rushed out. I am at peace and one with myself.  Emptied. (Or wait maybe I’m just literally empty and hungry right now) So in light of that some happy things.

– For example, my bestie, my sister, Kate’s dad, which is like my second dad, has been very ill and in and out of the hospital – she created the cutest CUTEST website for him Papa’s Mickey.  Although not the happiest thing and I wish he wasn’t so sick but we are gonna stay as positive as possible!!!!!

Modern Dauphine is now… sort of running now… we just need to get all the podcasting and store up.  And go from not just blogging to a full blown interactive social website.  But we do have an instagram now as well.  Check out my 20 Questions.

– I am also doing that for my own personal website as well.  So look forward to that.  That are a lot of old posts that the photos are all messed up and stuff so I’ll be keeping some good ones, fixing them or just leaving them on here as an “archive” for people to check out, I kind of want to start fresh and new. I have a great team helping me out with this project. I finally have my “image” created – I drew me, in vector, instead of just regular photography – for now – to not “sex it up” too much – for now, I have a few wanting to do me but it seems sketchy or just money grubbing. Haha.  Plus I do really good photo editing so what’s the point?  But don’t worry, this blog will still be open.

– Not so positive, but still better than before: I need to get my health better… my vitamin D deficiency is out of control but at least I’m controlling the anemia well.  The doctors are also concerned about the weight loss but I am at a loss for words (no pun intended) for why I just have less appetite and why I can’t seem to keep my nutrients in.  I’m thinking of getting tested for celiac. So after 14 vials of blood… they still got nothing… except my vitamin D level is…. 8!  Normal is 30-100. I have 8. So now I’m on a high dosage of it.  Like 50,000 MG or something.  Why is my body not absorbing it?

– And what is going on is so ridiculous you can’t even imagine.  I’m supposed to be halfway to sleepy never never land and yet I get THIS happening to me. OH WAIT! If I post it, he’ll say, yup HE WILL SAY, that I just want attention – but wait, I get attention without doing anything. Probably what he wants. SO. I will just say a guy I was interested in was, once again, not who he claimed or posed to be.  Getting insulting emails in the middle of the night was not what I signed up for.  Neither were insecure guys I had to sugar mama to. YES. That was just said. Hey maybe I do just want “attention with guys”  He promises to reply to me but doesn’t.  Apparently “our relationship” keeps getting in the way of his workouts and his “work”. HA! You’re just lucky I’m not bitchy enough yet to say who you are.

– Went to a 5th Red Sox game. So far for me, 2 out of 5 losses.  But it was a good game.  FU Chicago, I love you but you beat us 10 – 8 Monday. It’s cuz I didn’t eat my hot dog, right?!  Or I didn’t wear my Red Sox undies.

Stay Positive

Lastly, before I forget, I’m gonna start doing pre-taped AND live broadcasts of my podcast.  So let me know your thought.  Live will be mainly night ones or surprise ones.  I’ll have pre-taped topics that will be posted weekly.  Also I will be going back to youtube vlogging and social camming again.  And if you haven’t added me on the app Periscope yet, you should, I’m starting to go on it once every day or two :]

And I leave you with 5 Seconds of Summer‘s newest song “She’s Kinda Hot” – Concert countdown – 35 Days <3 Woot

And last, but not least: Life, love, energy is never black and white… or shades of gray – it’s colors of all spectrum, and in my case, the freaking neon bright rainbow.  Enjoy what you get and cherish it – It won’t be around forever.

I feel like I need to post a food post soon….

Getting back into the groove of things….

Now that I have started blogging again and will always be blogging for Modern Dauphine….  I’m kinda really liking it.  I’ve even gotten back to writing my book again (which has been on  hiatus for like 2 months) …

Life has been interesting. Ups, downs, misunderstandings and mended friendships…. You never really truly to enjoy your day to day life until you get older, huh? Each day passes with a blink of an eye.  I really need to reach further, set even higher limits and more goals.  And then check them off my Must-Do Checklist.

Summer is almost upon us, June 20, and I’m psyched! I always loved summer – being a summer baby and all.  The obvious: Cape Code trips, beaching… short weekend trips somewhere relaxing and fun, wearing as little clothing as possible (duh!) And all those refreshing, light, yummy foods and cocktails.

Beach beach beach! I need a tan!  I’m practically see-thru…. and then some.

This weekend is my babe Kim‘s Birthday so I booked a hotel and I’m taking her to Chippendales. I think they call it “Men in Motion‘ now… haha with a special twist. I got us VIP seats in the front so we don’t have to stand and……. well I promise to take pictures ;]  We’re getting tattoos, gonna go shopping, go eat at Wahlburgers.

We always have an amazing time.  Plus I get to help pick out clothes for her, do her makeup and hair ;]  Plus when you go out with me, and I plan it, we go ALL. OUT. Got it?

Soon after my Uncle, Aunt and one of my favorite Cousins (shh) is coming for I think 3 weeks or so.  Niagara Falls and Red Sox games are a MUST. (which reminds me I have to buy tickets… it’ll just be me and the boys… haha my mom and aunt are so not into it) – I’ll definitely be taking him to some sort of July 4th celebration/party and maybe even hit up the beach with a group of people.

And then August.  I’m make sure that all my birthdays are memorable and I promise this year won’t be an exception.  INCLUDING 5 Seconds of Summer will be playing in Boston in August. UH psyched.  I just don’t know what to do yet for my birthday….. got any ideas?

It’s already been a crazy half a year (can you believe how fast that went?  Heartbreaks, crushes, enemies… yikes) – And yes there is someone I like – even though I decided to try not to talk about my love life on this blog anymore. So *crossing my fingers*

So, now let’s go dancing….. forget about the past, look forward to the future but treasure every breath and existence of the moment ♥

ps. Promise more food posts will be made as well…

xo

Just a few reasons why my mom is the best – Happy Birthday Mommy

I love you Mommy, Happy Birthday

My First Bday Dinner of the Year

Rum shots for my bday!!! what what?!?!?!

And of course the place chosen was jm Curley since we first bonded over out love of burgers.

My Wasabi Beer

Sadly not much of a wasabi flavor, slight heat on the throat.. but tasty nonetheless..

Complimentary Bacon Fat Popcorn

Bloody Mary Deviled Eggs…
tomato, horseradish, Worcestershire, celery salt, bacon

Mine were awesome but these were pretty good, and VERY much like bloody marys :]

My favorite, and now L and I’s tradition of Fried Pickles
zesty-dill house pickles, creole mayo

And of course…
jmC 9 oz. natural angus burger
cheddar, grilled onions, pickles, pop’s Russian, fries

And speaking of fun.. the next day this happened with K

And after a hot shower, a few beers and some yummy takeout… it ultimately led to what adults do on a Saturday night.

Super Belated = Best Day of the Year: August 3 — The Perfect Very Happy Birthday

I had the most amazing birthday ever this year.  It was probably the best I have ever had.

AND the fact that it was FINALLY on a weekend again, especially a SATURDAY, made it even more amazing.  Usually I have my party on the “not real date” but this year……. FINALLY…… I got to celebrate on the REAL day in STYLE.

It started with sleeping in.. and then running some errands with J and then over a beer – BTW, TIME WARNER FUCKING SUCKS. GO SUCK A DICK.

Anyways. I had a heart attack and anxiety attack at Eataly… SO MANY PEOPLE [and I was kinda hungry] so we went upstairs for a beer… which was surprisingly empty, especially for a Saturday, late afternoon.

I’m off-centered, so perfect :]

My boy’s got his sexy back <3

And the drinking begins….

So while I got pretty, J ran and worked out.  And I drank and got pretty. You know, doing what we do :]

RAWR. GO LEOS!!!!!!

My adorable J asked me to help pick out his outfit so I chose this. He’s TOO cute.  I bought him bowties so he learned how to tie them just for me…….

We match! I’m the luckiest girl ever to have my baby…

AND GUESS WHAT? He wouldn’t tell me where we were going for dinner…. and it turns out it was AI FIORI!!!!! My FAVORITE ITALIAN PLACE IN NYC!!!!!!…. and possibly EVAAAAAAAA

We both got the prix fix

Amuse Bouche….

Which was funny cuz we were just talking about not liking cold soup… but this creamy fennel soup was quite yum

OMFG. BEST PASTA EVER.

So many people ended up coming to Prolateriat.  Thanks Cory for the shout out [and Pete for changing my name to “Miss Nipple”] And then for more people coming along to The Dalloway. YES YES YES. Lesbian Club was the best way to end the night. I really wish I got pictures. But yes I wanna thank each and every one of you guys and girls for coming!!!!!  We were rolllllling deep that night. I couldn’t even keep count of how many people came out.

Esp thanks to Adela for coming all the way from DC just for my bday <3 LOVE YOU

And of course along with having the hottest boy on my arm that night, I also had the hottest girl, N <3

OH YEAH. Still in my 20s and living it up. I LOVE MY FRIENDS AND I LOVE MY LIFE.

Currently writing my bday post…..

But just wanted to say thank you for being the best boyfriend ever and giving me the best birthday of my life. I’m the luckiest girl lin the world. I really am. Truly.

Thanks for putting up with my cray cray and loving me for me.

LOVE. YOU.

Cutest thing in my life, ever..!!! [except Didi] and so happy you wore a bowtie for me on my bday <3

Ain’t nothing like a Miss Tiffie Bday


We meet up at Proletariat for some drinks at 9… and then will head out to either a rooftop lounge or other chill place after sometime after 11/1130. So for those wanna join the fun come along or you know my # :]