I understand there should be a higher purpose…

But what is mine? Dear God, I struggle with waking up each day knowing I’ll be hit with struggles that I have to smile through and be strong through, but why? I shouldn’t question your plan for my life but sometimes I find myself crying in the shower so the water hides my tears. Why do I not only have to take on my own, many, demons, but others as well?

Smiling, trusting, loving, living…. is getting so much harder now. And yet every morning I get up dreading the day I must endure… and hoping for that random glimmer of happiness and true joy that I get more and more rarely lately. When I smile at you, it’s genuine and real, but I am always crying on the inside. Forever broken.

So I ask you my dear sweet Lord, what is my purpose? Because I’m hurting really bad.

Comments

  1. This post made me cry. You have always been such a positive sweet out going person I never knew you were hurting so much inside. I know I’m the past you have hinted of some issues and bad boyfriends but never like this. This was beautifully written and has touched my soul. You are a strong woman and I know you will get past this! That is your destiny!

    Like

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