Have I lost all my followers from my lack of posting and not so much posting of my fooding and eating adventures? You can go to my instagram and twitter and facebook for that. More and more, which is less and less of posting, but these posts have been more personal. Life wise, things have been good – I miss Taiwan, I’ve been hanging with my awesome friends a lot who remind me how awesome and loved I am and are/have been super supportive. Thanksgiving was amazing. I had a post but I didn’t post it this year – some things got in the way [ha!] I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, growing, changing – you’re gonna see a lot out of me in the next month.. and obviously 2014. Big things are coming my way, I can feel it and I know it.
I’m currently in discussion with an old co-worker about starting up our own new company and I just started the most amazing site with two badass friends :] Yep, already things are going my way. And why? Cuz I made a choice in my life. And this JUST happened. In the past month or two I’ve been hesitant and back and forth and then suddenly [things happened] and I was like FUCK THAT. FUCK THIS. I’m doing this. I’m not getting any younger and my thoughts and ideas and dreams and hopes and MY life ain’t gonna happen til I make it happen. So BOOM.
Tonight I want to talk about “When is enough, enough?!” Okay, maybe not so cheery in the holiday seasons but I promise to post something “cheerier” soon…. maybe. I’m nice, but not that nice.
I’ve spent my entire life making other people happy. From what I do, to how I eat [ok fine I love food but why do I have to prove to you that I can eat 3 roast chickens in a row, nonstop? FUCK YOU I just want a drumstick]… drink [yes I can drink more than you, I don’t need to prove it to you – next time you try it I’ll just puke all over you on PURPOSE] —- it started with yes mom yes dad I do this I do that. I get my A’s for you, I don’t do anything naughty, I don’t even wear fucking tank tops. SLUTTY CLOTHES. HAHA. Slowly in college I grew into myself but even after I struggled. And with every relationship I did.
In my last relationship I rebelled.. severely. My family was super against it but I did it anyways. Finally something for me. But I lived it, learned it. And now I’m in a relationship of my choice. Living it. Learning it. [That’s all I’m saying for now]
ANYWAYS. What I’m learning? When is enough, ENOUGH?
I’ve been talking a lot to my good friend K and his wife M and he’s known me for awhile and he also made me realize that I haven’t been ME. Doing things for me. Showing ME. I’m always too busy changing for others and supporting others. I have dreams and hopes and they’re on the back burner. I sacrifice just to get burned. And in the end…. what do I get out of it? Tears.. heartbreak… anger. Lots of anger. And just sadness. Not sad that I know it’s no good for me, but sad that once again I was stupid and didn’t realize earlier that I deserved better. That I am better. But I’ve been around people that I love, care about and that I can be openly honest with without feeling guilty in the past few weeks and I just feel like a completely new person. I also feel like throwing up. But I can feel a glow coming out of me.
Love me for me, cuz I do. And from now on, RESPECT.
Cuz Enough is enough!