“Maybe you’re a woman in search of a word.”

It’s pretty public that I’m in love with the book, ‘Eat, Pray, Love’ and equally, if not more in love with the movie… but that could be partially due to the fact that I love Julia Roberts.  Who can resist her addictive smile? But I’m running off topic… remember that part when they talk about words? What’s the word for London? For Rome? For Sweden?  Everyone is asked and when Liz is asked… she’s clueless. Daughter.  Wife. Girlfriend. Writer.

Soon after, at least in the movie, she says “…maybe my word is Pizza” so it got me thinking, ‘What’s MY word?’  And this book has been out for a while, and so has the movie and I still haven’t realized what my word is.  And then today, whilst midst of complaining about being bored about talking about engagements and weddings with my boyfriend, I realized, my word is “Unpredictable”

Unpredictable.

Definition:

un·pre·dict·a·ble

[uhn-pri-dik-tuh-buhl]

adjective
1. not predictable; not to be foreseen or foretold: an unpredictable occurrence.

noun
2. something that is unpredictable: the unpredictables of life.

Many words have crossed my head or have been told to me about myself. But I know myself best, and I realized that everything I do, including eat and dress, is based on my mood, my emotions and just whatever the hell I feel like. I’m rarely the same person two days in a row, or even a few hours in a row.  Realizing this got me thinking even more… how much I’ve changed in the past 20 something years.

For most of life I’ve been quiet, timid and shy.  I started finding myself at the end of high school and then in college. The process of finding oneself is frightening and exciting at the same time – and HORRIBLE to look back at, especially since photography and the internet was invented. I was totally born in the wrong era.  My words have switched from awkward to shy to bullied to “could be prettier if skinnier” to the “wingman” to the “party girl”

And then one day, somehow, somewhere down the line of graduating college and bad boyfriend after bad boyfriend, good choices, bad ones, being boring and etc…. I truly found myself.  I stopped caring about how other people thought of me and said of me, it’s all been said and done.  I started caring about how I wanted me to be, how I loved me, what made ME happy.  I cut out ALL of the negativity in my life and was reborn.  I didn’t need to try.  I was no longer shy and hiding and no longer OVERLY outgoing. I was me.  When Im happy, you’ll know. When I’m sad, you’ll know. When I’m hungry…. Oh wait I always am, next… When I’m angry, I’ll want to hit you – and you’ll know.  But I am, and always will be, ME. ME. Changing and growing constantly. Just simply, unpredictably me.

What’s your word?

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