Not a Food Post: Thoughts on Relationships and Commitment

So this is not a food post. So before you decide to continue reading or not. Here are some recent yummies I’m ingested and digested, and yes pooped out.

Burger Pizza from Sonsie’s

Iberico Jamon from Toro

And most recently I made dinner for BF and I….

Real Black Truffle… this is worth likt 90$

Red Wine Braised Spicy Short Ribs with REAL Truffle whipped cauliflower and roasted brussel sprouts and mushrooms

And our bacon and bacon fat/habanero scrambled egg fest the next day

Oh, and my Easter Duck from Sel de la Terre

Anyways now it’s gonna get deep. So prepare to either enjoy or not enjoy. I said I wanted to grow this website into a little more than just food soooo……. here’s a go at it

So I was talking to one of my friends today…. and somehow it got into threesomes.  He was saying how I’m young and should experiment if I’m attracted, etc, so why not.  I said I doubted I could do it with anyone I had feelings for. He said that he had a girlfriend for a few years and threesomes made them bond anymore.  Which led me into asking him why he wasn’t with her anymore.  And while there were plenty of reasons he could give me, um, him being incredibly good looking and personable – just two off the top of my head… he said cuz he was only 98% in love with her.  Granted they were in their early-mid 20s at the time, which isn’t THAT young but I guess it can and can’t be for this day and age…. but she wanted marriage and babies and he told me he knew he was 100% and wouldn’t want all of that later on with her.  He loved her, she was great, but only 98%……

For some reason it hit a trigger in me and got me thinking.  I was just taking a long hot shower. [fine fine be dirty, imagine it] And I was thinking about my past relationships and what an old boyfriend had said to me.  My first boyfriend after college told me to “never settle” and it’s stuck with me. For 8 long years it’s stuck with me.  I remember it clearly, we were walking into my apartment in Harvard Sq. talking about being in relationships, exes and being happy and he said “Its important to just never settle.” And honestly I think a lot of people I know just settled.  Which is why my friend, today, reminded me again of this.  Settling isn’t good for both sides of the party aka relationship.

So then it got me thinking even more…. I thought I was going to marry my first boyfriend.  I had my first kiss when I was 16.  A month after I graduated high school. Yep.  I admit it.  And after that first heartbreak it was guy after guy that wanted to marry me and have babies with me and then I’d run away.  I was dubbed a commitmentphobe and a “guy” by my friends.  Can you believe that?  How many girls would immediately jump at the idea of getting married, eloping and having babies with a guy? Not me. Why?  NOT FULLY THERE.  So, see, back to my friend saying “98%” how much percentage have I been with each guy?

DOOD. I had a guy I wanted to break up with try to get me to stay with him by telling me the engagement ring he was about to propose to me with and saying that he wanted to give me a baby boy. UH. Total turn off. Telling me you wanna give me a baby when trying to seduce me is NOT my kind of foreplay.

And then it brings me on to another thought.  Last weekend I was having a girls day with one of my girlfriends and we were talking about marriage.  I think I’ve been thru maybe 6 or 7 boyfriends since I’ve known her. Awkward right? I’m such a serial relationshipper… I don’t really date. If you don’t interest me, we won’t make it thru a date. Continuing on.  Maybe a fling or two here and there, fun times are always good times, but I like being in love – feeling needed, taking care of someone…. thinking of someone and just smiling.  OH KAY. Enough of that.  She’s been married for almost 10 years.  She had her first kid in High School, got married, went to college and just recently had another boy two years ago.  She said it got hard in the marriage around the 7th year but the reason why they’re so strong is because they’re best friends. BEST FRIENDS.

That’s another topic I want to hit upon.  I want guys I date to become my BEST FRIEND.  I had one guy who refused to be friends with me unless we were in a relationship.  It turned out SHIT so I won’t get into that.  I partially blame the whole pre-friendship/no more respect thing.  OR maybe I’m just a bitch.  Either way.  Doesn’t work for me.

So back to the not settling thing… I realized that I’ve known a lot of guys who not settled… but also a handful of guys who ended relationships cuz while they were happy, they weren’t the right one.  I guess just made me think a lot.

[EDIT] I don’t date guys and be in relationships just to BE IN one… I don’t NEED to be in one.  I’m like one of those disney princess movies that always believe in a happy ending but just end up getting more jaded and fucked up.  I want a best friend. A great lover. A partner in crime. Someone I enjoy life with, not complete.  I can take care of myself, I’m a big girl.  I want a great guy to compliment me and me to compliment him. [/EDIT]

Btw, this friend of mine I’m talking about [first paragraph] told me that Santa may have come from some big Shrooms high amongst other things.


On that note.

Stay swaggie.

PS. This blog post has NOTHING to do with my current relationship – which is a happy one.  And a private one. J + I are awesome. That’s all.


  1. Never settle! I gave up an old girlfriend that was 80% awesome for me and a year later I found Mary! Who’s freakin AWESOME for me! and I for her! :D. Great read


  2. gracie says:



  3. Radcliffe says:

    Yeah don’t ever settle gorgeous. Sounds like your first boy ruined it for all the others and left you jaded. His loss. You’re beautiful and seem so full of personality. Great culinary taste too. I dig your post and style.

    Liked by 1 person


  1. […] how did it go? One of my first truly NON-food posts since my own personal blog.  As much as food is a HUGE part of my life, I want to integrate food, travel and ME into this […]


  2. […] so many people have liked my relationship post I’m definitely going to do more personal posts along with my food posts on […]


  3. […] old now. I’m jaded. I’ve dated every single guy possible and it’s all turned to shit. I’ve had guys say the “L Word” within a day or two of meeting me, and within a […]


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