Pros of being a Sick Foodie…

Oh life.  So I’ve been sick for well over a week now.  In fact, I’ve been sick for…. 10 days! WOOHOO!  And while I’ve been complaining about nausea, lack of appetite, lack of TASTE or any senses…. It’s been SO long that I’ve gone crazy and started looking at all the upsides.

1. I can eat all the asparagus I want and I can’t smell the asparagus pee.

Next one is a two-parter

2a. I just threw up habanero. NO BURN!

2b. I just threw up! Which means I can eat again.

3. The antibiotics I’m on makes me a. Throw up a lot and b. Poop a lot [see previous con]

4. I don’t remember the last time I was such a cheap date.  I make a pot of soup and that is the majority of my diet.  Mornings I mix oatmeal in it.

5. I can get everyone else to run errands for me.

6. Who needs alcohol [which equals spending more money] when you have looooooads of fun medications that get you a. higher b. crazier c. drunker f. uhhhh…… more bang for the buck, and less sips.

7. I am caught up on so many movies and tv shows cuz I can’t fucking sleep. Coughing ALL NIGHT.  HELLOOOOOOO itunes.

8. I don’t need to watch horror movies cuz it sounds like a Gremlin lives in my throat. Cough Hack Gurgle Rawr.

9. Boss lets me sleep in past noon before working.  Ah sympathy.

10. I haven’t dressed up or put on makeup in a week. HAHA.

11. I look Herion Chic without the dangers of crack or needles!!! WOOHOOOO

12. Even my dog feels bad for me.

13. Easiest way to turn down a guy. Cough & sneeze in their face.

14. I don’t instagram/facebook/tweet all the 129381 things I eat on a daily basis.  So I can eat without caring to share, since SOUP EVERY DAY gets old, even for me.

15. I’m allowed to swear and curse my head off – it’s okay. I’m angry and sick. People understand more!

16. I’m totally gonna appreciate being healthy a LOT more…..

10981203983… the list goes on.  But my drugs are kicking in so I’m distracted.

ps. I just started singing… and realized that I can sing off key and people will forgive me for sounding so bad cuz I’m SICK. HAHA.. they don’t know that’s how I always sound….

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