GROTTO: Good Shoes, Bad Pasta…

All dressed up and somewhere to go…. this is me showing off my new shoes.. I bought awhile ago, that I totally forgot about. Tonight was the perfect night — I hadn’t seen Z in like 2 days and I needed to look fabulouso.  I was at a Bridal Shower, Dressing Fitting and running errands all day so Z made all the details and reservations for the night. Tonight? Grotto.

GUCCI Leopard Gradient :D

Grotto is on the bottom of a HUUUUUUUUGE HUGE hill… we parked at the top, but Z was such a gentleman and carried me down.  Some weirdo yelled “I see her thong”.. except I wasn’t wearing a thong… yay granny panties [haha kidding] STILL.. awkward.. hahaha.. maybe Z should’ve carried me a different way.. hahaha..

Dense bread and EVOO and Olives…

Grilled calamari, White beans, Peppers, Greens, Lemon

Underneath all the delicious fresh arugula was 3, ONLY 3 pieces, but some of the most tender, perfectly grilled calamaris EVER. SO GOOD!!! The sauce, the freshness of the peppery green – AMAZING!!!

Arugula, Proscuitto, Reggiano, Lemon vinaigrette

Delicious Balsamic Vinegar… also came with EVOO and Lemon Vinaigrette 

BUT THEY FORGOT THE CHEESE!!!! FOUR ingredients and they forgot one HUGE major one… like, WTF.  But when we asked for some they gave us a mini bowl of parm :] YUM YUM YUM. I love cheese!

Salad overload much? It’s okay we still had fondue and mussels on the way… but that’s when the meal started going downhill.. at least my shoes are hot [haha]

Fontina cheese fondue, Beef tenderloin, Aged balsamic, Truffle oil, Portobello mushrooms

It smelled truffly but the cheese was soooo thin and runny.. very watery.  I wish it came with crudites.. bread cubes, something.. other than a few sinewy pieces of beef and some flabby cuts of mushroom. SO disappointing. I freaking ADORE fondue… and I miss good quality fondue.  Need to stuff ourselves silly at Artisanal ASAP [where’s your fav place for fondue in the City?]

And then the night just got worse from there [at least food wise, we were having great convos].  They forgot to put the order of mussels in, but then they came out with the pastas beforehand — so we just cancelled the mussels. WRONG MOVE… still hungry :[

Potato gnocchi, Short ribs, Mushrooms, Gorgonzola

Just LOOK at them. HOW THE CRAP IS THAT GNOCCHI?!?!.. they’re ginormous and so rough looking.. it tasted like raw dough balls… not pillowy, not fluffy not okay. NO BUENO.  I had half a gnocchi and a bite of the short ribs.. the SHORT RIBS were SOOOOO tender, melt away.. but the sauce was so bland… and .. waaaa BAD GNOCCHI…

Spaghetti, Meatballs & Grotto’s insanely fabulous tomato sauce
As soon as we walked into Grotto we saw the spaghetti and meatballs, EVERYWHERE. And we were craving. CRAVING.  Earlier that day my BFF [bride-to-be] ordered off the bridal shower menu and got a spaghetti and meatball, so I was def craving.

THIS was the WORST spaghetti and meatballs I’ve EVER had. The tomato sauce was so off… smokey and too many jumbled herbs.  The pasta was OKAY.  But the worst was the MEATBALLS – which is so sad because ya’ll should know by now I’m ALL about the meatballs.  They were SOOOO salty, mushy and just… rosemary or thyme or something just OVER herbed.. *sigh* SO frustrating…

Crab ravioli, Asparagus, Almonds, Saffron

This was the only edible one IMO.  The vegetables were SO fresh tasting… it was delicious.. the only gripe is the pasta.. and the fillings could use more crab in it. But all in all, minus the tough, pasta [not even like under cooked more like pre-cooked and sat out]  So SO happy with the asparagus and the tomatoes.  I sprinkled extra cheese and hot pepper flakes on it for added oomph.. I ended up just not eating most of the pasta part… Z was a sweetheart and let me eat the whole plate [minus one hehe]

So all the pastas were pretty… not good.  Which partially might also because we always have a good time when we go out for italian [ok that last link was MY pasta I made hahahha].  We’re obsessed with good pasta and these just felt like they were sitting out way too long.

Lemon panna cotta, Raspberry sauce, Crispy pizzelle cookie

The flavors were great, but the texture was off. OK so it tasted, texturally, like cheesecake.. a thick creamy cheesecake… NOT panna cotta like  Jay Rayner said “A good panna cotta, if it’s set right, is meant to wobble like a woman’s breasts.” Mwahahahahaha… and it was only half a pizzelle :[ I adore pizzelles.. hahaha wish they had a dessert option of a plate of fresh pizzelles.

Banana bread pudding, Caramel sauce, Caramel ice cream, Spice nuts
Also dense, not bread pudding like… just like a banana spiced bread… banana nut bread minus the nuts… but the burnt caramel ice cream was FREAKING AMAZING!!!!… i gobbled it up with the nuts :]

Ok. No bueno. But the wine was pretty good.. and it was a fun atmosphere.  Definitely not a go to spot for Italian…


  1. i’m obsessed with the sweet potato ravioli and calamari at grotto…i agree everything else is just meh.


  2. Too bad about Grotto :( BUT I LOVE LOVE LOVE your shoes!



  1. […] Z waited 15 minutes til 11 o get the spaghetti and meatballs…. remember our most recent meatball/pasta fail?  Sad. I need meatball night again […]


  2. […] best probably being Le Cirque or Mizuna….I mean the last time I had gnocchi was horrible.  Horrible gnocchi which ended in a horrible night. [Long story] Horrible gnocchi sucks… heavy, dense… NOT […]


  3. […]  Toasted and creamy.. MMMMMM I’ve had good gnocchi but mostly BAD GNOCCHI..  These were delicious…. Scrumptious mushrooms… creamy creamy melty and […]


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