“I’ll walk right up to you and put one finger in the air”

I have one less problem without you

I’ve always been attracted to the wrong guys…. my friends know it, my parents know it and deep down – I, usually, even do.

In the words of Taylor Swift…

“I knew you were trouble when you walked in….”

But this is probably one of the first times I’ve felt SO disrespected and we were barely IN a relationship.  If you can even call it that.

I’ve been the trophy girlfriend, the sugar mama, the young girl, the older woman but never have I EVER been treated so much like an object, a possession and I refuse to be associated to ANY male who treats women like a piece of meat – asking me to come and go as THEY please like a hooker.  At least prostitutes get paid, I just end up feeling used.   I’m glad I haven’t given in but I can’t believe he thinks he can be king and order me around.

“You wanna play, you wanna stay, you wanna have it all
You started messing with my head until I hit a wall
But even if the stars and moon collide
I never want you back into my life
You can take your words and all your lies
Oh oh oh I really don’t care”

I’m the Queen around here.  Bow down to me.
Treat me like a Lady and I’ll treat you like a man.
If not, you’re worse than scum and you’ll get what’s coming to ya.

“Ooh, you called me up again tonight
But ooh, this time I’m telling you, I’m telling you
We are never, ever, ever getting back together””

Just be you… a New Chapter in Life

The snow glows white on the mountain tonight,
Not a footprint to be seen.
A kingdom of isolation and it looks like I’m the queen.
The wind is howling like this swirling storm inside.
Couldn’t keep it in, Heaven knows I tried.

Don’t let them in, don’t let them see,
Be the good girl you always have to be.
Conceal, don’t feel, don’t let them know.
Well, now they know.

It’s funny how some distance makes everything seem small
And the fears that once controlled me can’t get to me at all.
Up here in the cold thin air I finally can breathe.
I know I left a life behind but I’m too relieved to grieve.

Standing frozen
In the life I’ve chosen.
You won’t find me.
The past is all behind me
Buried in the snow.

Let it go, let it go
Can’t hold it back anymore
Let it go, let it go
Turn my back and slam the door
And here I stand, and here I’ll stay
Let it go, let it go
The cold never bothered me anyway

True Happiness

“The saddest people I’ve ever met in life are the ones who don’t care deeply about anything at all. Passion and satisfaction go hand in hand, and without them, any happiness is only temporary, because there’s nothing to make it last.” 
― Nicholas Sparks, Dear John

I feel like a lot of people don’t realize this.  It’s not even just how I “feel” but what I observe.  Happiness IS so temporary. Money, material possessions, superficiality…. what happens when all of that goes away? Knowing what you love, what you want – that’s a big deal. Love, family, friends – that’s what’s important.  Dreams and goals… going for them, THAT is true sunshine in life.  So many people wander aimlessly through their lives thinking they’re living the dream, but in truth it’s just a temporary thing.  A facade.  As I grow older, I realize that I don’t need all that extra BS in my life.  Doing what I love, being with who I love and loving myself is the most important thing – never forget that and you will be the happiest person, truly.

When is enough enough?

Have I lost all my followers from my lack of posting and not so much posting of my fooding and eating adventures? You can go to my instagram and twitter and facebook for that.   More and more, which is less and less of posting, but these posts have been more personal.  Life wise, things have been good – I miss Taiwan, I’ve been hanging with my awesome friends a lot who remind me how awesome and loved I am and are/have been super supportive. Thanksgiving was amazing.  I had a post but I didn’t post it this year – some things got in the way [ha!] I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, growing, changing – you’re gonna see a lot out of me in the next month.. and obviously 2014. Big things are coming my way, I can feel it and I know it.

I’m currently in discussion with an old co-worker about starting up our own new company and I just started the most amazing site with two badass friends :] Yep, already things are going my way. And why? Cuz I made a choice in my life.  And this JUST happened.  In the past month or two I’ve been hesitant and back and forth and then suddenly [things happened] and I was like FUCK THAT. FUCK THIS. I’m doing this. I’m not getting any younger and my thoughts and ideas and dreams and hopes and MY life ain’t gonna happen til I make it happen. So BOOM.

Tonight I want to talk about “When is enough, enough?!” Okay, maybe not so cheery in the holiday seasons but I promise to post something “cheerier” soon…. maybe. I’m nice, but not that nice.

DEAL.

I’ve spent my entire life making other people happy. From what I do, to how I eat [ok fine I love food but why do I have to prove to you that I can eat 3 roast chickens in a row, nonstop? FUCK YOU I just want a drumstick]… drink [yes I can drink more than you, I don't need to prove it to you - next time you try it I'll  just puke all over you on PURPOSE] —- it started with yes mom yes dad I do this I do that. I get my A’s for you, I don’t do anything naughty, I don’t even wear fucking tank tops. SLUTTY CLOTHES. HAHA. Slowly in college I grew into myself but even after I struggled.  And with every relationship I did.

In my last relationship I rebelled.. severely.  My family was super against it but I did it anyways.  Finally something for me.  But I lived it, learned it.  And now I’m in a relationship of my choice. Living it. Learning it. [That's all I'm saying for now]

ANYWAYS.  What I’m learning? When is enough, ENOUGH?

I’ve been talking a lot to my good friend K and his wife M and he’s known me for awhile and he also made me realize that I haven’t been ME. Doing things for me. Showing ME.  I’m always too busy changing for others and supporting others.  I have dreams and hopes and they’re on the back burner.  I sacrifice just to get burned.  And in the end…. what do I get out of it? Tears.. heartbreak… anger. Lots of anger.  And just sadness. Not sad that I know it’s no good for me, but sad that once again I was stupid and didn’t realize earlier that I deserved better.  That I am better.  But I’ve been around people that I love, care about and that I can be openly honest with without feeling guilty in the past few weeks and I just feel like a completely new person.  I also feel like throwing up.  But I can feel a glow coming out of me.

Love me for me, cuz I do.  And from now on, RESPECT.

Cuz Enough is enough!

Seriously? How is this Racist? It’s a CHOCOLATE ad!

Apparently Naomi Campbell finds this Cadbury ad racist…. shouldn’t it just make you want a bite of creamy yummy chocolate? I want to be compared to some delicious goodness too…

Naomi contends that ad offensively likens her to chocolate: “It’s upsetting to be described as chocolate, not just for me, but for all black women and black people. I do not find any humour in this. It is insulting and hurtful.” Cadbury maintains that the ad was meant to be “a light-hearted take on the social pretensions of Cadbury Dairy Milk Bliss,” but has since pulled it.

Meanwhile, Campbell continues to pursue “every option available” to her, including a possible lawsuit — and maybe a fist fight…

 Seriously Naomi? What about this?

Taken by LaChapelle back in December 1999 for Playboy… or iss this completely different as to being linked to chocolate?!

Reasonable minds certainly differ on this, but to me, the ad isn’t likening Naomi to “chocolate.” It’s saying that both Naomi and Cadbury Bliss are pampered divas. An analogous ad might be one with a picture of an old school plastic Sony Walkman with the strap line “Even Jackie couldn’t chop this in half.” Is that subtly racist? I don’t think so, but then again I’m probably not as primed to see anti-black or anti-Asian (for example) sentiment in media as someone who is black or of Asian descent, respectively. But give me a Mel Gibson movie, and I’d be delighted to point out the anti-Semitism.

True, Cadbury could have picked a white first-name-only diva for the ad, like Madonna or Celine or even Posh, but none of these epic narcissists come anywhere close to having Naomi’s reputation as a fit-throwing hellcat. That’s how the public knows that the diva Naomi referred to in the ad is Campbell and not Judd, Watts, or Naomi from Lost. Bitch is banned from British Airways for life, for chrissakes. But point taken that there is something unsavory about picking a black woman to name in an ad for chocolate.

Others around the web see the Naomi ad as patently offensive and cite Cadbury’s #fail track recordfor putting out ads that many consider racist and stereotypical. In one case, the UK’s Advertising Standards Authority launched a formal investigation into a particular Cadbury ad, which it found employed “harmful stereotypes” and offensive imagery. Yeah. NOT GREAT.

Given Cadbury’s troubling ad history, maybe the Naomi ad is not as innocent as it may first appear. In that case, Cadbury needs to do more than pull the ad, bat its eyes, and proclaim that it “would never produce any marketing activity we felt might cause offense to any section of society.” It needs to apologize to the public and also to Naomi, who has worked tirelessly to promote inclusiveness in the fashion word and beyond. She certainly doesn’t need some antiquated candy company belittling her by calling her “chocolate.”

- Read more here…

So dumb. I actually ended up writing a lot more about this but I don’t want some stupid racist debate on this topic.  It’s an ad that’s all in good fun, if I were her and wanted to start a fight she should’ve been upset that they were making fun of her for being, and obviously, a diva.  At least they didn’t say something about throwing her cell phone on assistants…  like “Bitchier than Naomi” har har har. Diva is just a nicer way of saying it – way to take something totally out of context. Just be a glamourous bitch diva and own it dahhhling.  BESIDES… she does have chocolatey deliciously beautiful skin :] Nothing wrong with that comparison, it’s a luscious description.

Cubano at 2am…Eating in Bed

I, obviously, was still hungry after the FUN but tiny meal from Gilt City’s Wine + Dine + Design…. so on our way back from the Design District [20min away from Sobe] we stopped by Puerto Sagua, 24 hr Cuban Restaurant :]

We had a Cubano, Z’s FIRST [he's had a BITE before but not his own!!!] earlier that afternoon, actually, when we walked back from the Delano to our hotel after brunch. We shared one by the pool as we went tanning… hahaha yep, we were back and craving OXTAIL…

“Do you wanna eat outside or bed?”
ME: BEDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!

it’s not our bed — we’re gross, we know.

Z made a mess and spilled on the bed… tsk tsk hahaha… MMM look at that yummy fluffy rice and fried plantains…

The oxtail was SOOO tender and fell right off the bone. The sauce was amazing and we just mixed the rice right now.. Nom nom nom.. the plantains were actually really sweet :]

And of course Cubano #2 of the day. I asked for extra pickles.. and when Z went to pickup our takeout, he asked for MORE pickles… [I thought the one earlier didn't have enough...]

Hellllllz yeah.. TWO layers of pickles, see that?!?!?! Z wasn’t even hungry and still ate, most of, his half cuz it’s THAT good. I think I ate the rest…. hahaha… PICKLES!!!! I’m so @sn00ki ;D Although I’ve never had fried pickles, just pickle chips. Or wait, NM, I think I have….. #thoughts

More adventures from SOBE coming soooooooon……

it used to be “Big Buns & Pita” (all this food lately IS making MY buns big ;])

…but now it’s Sahara Kabob.

I’m sorry but the former name is so much more badussy (in the words of Onch ;])

BUT THE WEBSITE is still: www.bigbunsandpita.com :D woot!

So I like Greek/Med food but it’s been awhile… I used to eat it all the time when I worked at Directory M since a ton of my coworkers were from that region… and there was an amazing Med place right by work… but I’m lame and always got the Chicken Shwarma.. (so loves it) since it came with amazing rice with tiny pieces of noodles, the sauce.. and just delicious chicken. I’ve had a falafel ONCE in my life and it was there and I wasn’t impressed.. it made me hesitant to ever eat it again.. until now…

Boyfriend LOVES this place.. and I trust him. So I go along with it. He used to come here all the time.. trekking thru rain and snow… and he has good stories about the place and people there. So I enjoy listening as we walk and eat there :]

To start… we had the Baba Ghanouj, Boorek, & Medames, as appetizers…. I LOVE the rice with sweet carrots and raisins that the dishes come with. YUM! They also give you soup or salad (we got the delicious lentil soup) and pickled jalapeno, beets, onions, etc… to munch on… and of course pita!!!

[Read more...]

Miss Tiffie does Chicago….

Okay I lied, I didn’t bring my cords to work so no Father’s Day weekend blog. That’ll be tomorrow or later tonite. BUTTTTTT, I still have to blog about my trip to Chicago so all is gravyyyy & cranberry sauce (it doesn’t have to make sense!!!!)

I’m sitting here at working, working away and twittering away.. oh dear I’m such a tweetaholic… twitterholic?…. drinking my BluePrintCleanse juices… which is silly cuz I’m eating too…. but I love their juices :] Esp the green juice!!! This time when I ordered I said I was allergic to nuts to see what they gave me and instead of my fav spicy lemonade they gave me a fruity pineapple/apple/mint one. Tasty. I really need to stop buying these tho…. and use my vitamix more.

And so the journey begins :] Thanks all to you :]

[Read more...]

Pain much?

Hello world! I’m back, less puffy (altho bruised cheeks, thank goodness for coverup!!!)

Still in pain from wisdom teeth pulling. Is it bad that I still sometimes bleed? I think I’ve been overexcited in chewing this weekend and I woke up today super sore. I also had too much food late yesterday nite (story of my life…I like to eat dried ramen…)… and ending up throwing up this morning :[ How does that even happen? A week on mush has made my metabolism go to poo. SO not fun. FAIL. Sorry TMI :] I’m like that… hehehe…

I started off this morning with this:

ALO. It’s from Taiwan and it’s really yummy. I usually buy Korean Aloe drinks but I saw these @ WF the other day so I bought a few. DELICIOUS. I love the jelly aloe pieces in these drinks. And the wheatgrass one is supposed to be better for waking me up than coffee. I duno about that but I had both. Anyways I really really wanna try their Enliven (which is a veggie one) and Allure (mangosteen & mangoes!!! YUMMMMM) ones. But you can’t even buy Allure in their online store!!! Boo!!!! I wrote to them about it hahaha… *crosses fingers* maybe they’ll sympathize.

I have soft foods today, mostly fruit and some avocado to munch on at work…. my jaw is super sore so I duno if I feel like tackling real food right now. And after this morning my appetite is kinda downhill :[

I made SPICY Jalapeño Bacon Burgers Saturday nite... :D I'll blog about that later tonite when I stop being lazy and get my pictures off of my camera.

Highlights of yesterday included... going to bed @ 6am, waking up at 830am to make Carrot Cake Muffins and then going back to bed.

I ate TWO whole bags of Rambutans that I bought from Russo's on the carride home (hahaha)

(excuse the fat fingers)

....and then had Strawberry Ice Cream and like 5 or 6 Muffins for dinner. @_@

Ice Cream has been a staple for me lately. As well as pudding.. jello... :] Banana Baby Food <3

Btw, I got this book the other day

I thought it was cute :] HAHAHA…

addicted

i am SO disgustingly addicted to twitter.

btw, last friday i ate a 13.5 lb lobster!!!! thanks to the most awesome waiter, daniel @ the framingham legal seafoods :]


mommy and me


“joe” the lobster (haha)


hot dang

and no it wasn’t all tough and stuff cuz it was over 90 years old.. tender, juicy and delicious!

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