Miami Day 2 Beach, Yardbird & Nikki Beach Club

After a nice relaxing, semi-early, night in…. uhhhh…. actually okay, fine, not so “early” :] We woke up around 1030 for our FREE BREAKFAST

Dressed for the beach and ready to tan and swim after brekky… OFF WE GO…

How did we somehow get upgraded to an insane room AND get free brekky?!?!?!

One of our first plates of many….

And an omelette bar <3 UGH love

And then we were off to the beach. I swear we were the youngest/sexiest ones there. Check out my hot beach date.

My view for the whole day.

Is that a flying dino?

OH also decided to turn Mormon after finding this book in our hotel room….

HA. Just kidding. PS. This bikini is dedicated to Elliot Wronski :]

Our hotel.

Booze since 11am…

We later got ready, chilled on our balcony…..

 

And then headed to LUCKY STRIKE to watch the HEATS game. YAY Basketball.

J with his sexy cousin G and her fiance S [from the group Stellar Revival] 

Yeah, the band is pretty killer…. go to some shows in their next tour.. if it’s east coast I’ll probably be there :] Def any Boston or NYC shows :D

Live:

Ok i keep trying to put up the link to The Crazy Ones on here.. but it’s just the lyrics to Saving Grace…

Something about some punk and rock that just gets a girl going….

I’ll hopefully go help out at a few East Coast shows on their next tour so look out for me :D *grin* and also check out the drummer’s food blog — The Hungry Dummer .

We played a game of pool [worst game ever] but me and J won <3 WOOT. Nerds unite!!!!

G asked where I wanted to eat in Miami and I said YARDBIRD and her and S had JUST had brunch there… but then they decided to take us there after the game…. AWESOME.

Sadly no Chef Jeff McInnis here :[  HASH TAG #topchefcrush

Of course when I saw this I had to get it.  G and S warned that it was a lot of food but I was up to the challenge…

G ordered milk. I think I love her.

The cute soon-to-be-married-couple <3

Kale Salad for J and I

And our Chicken n Waffles n Watermelon!!!… we DEVOURED, DEMOLISHED, KILLLLLLED this <3 Hahahaha…… we’re fatties

Altho I did lose a watermelon in the feed fest. So I pour a little bit out to my homie watermelon…

My Feedback:

And then G and S kindly dropped us off at Nikki Beach Club…

Yeah the mojitos were overly sweet and sucked… I had lots of champagne and lots of douchebag Jersey Shore guys here….. probably never coming back to  Nikki Beach Club… but it was definitely an experience and fun..

Ended up going back and having fun enjoying Eden Roc late late night ;D

PS. Best line of my night to a guy “Catch me if you can, POKEMON” and I LITERALLY ran away”

PPS. I also had a guy ask me: “If I took you away tonight do you think your bf would mind?” UHHH YES. FUCKA.

Another FAILED Perm, Tea Time & another dinner at Din Tai Fung

They FUCKED up my perm last time. Yes. Perm. Embarrassing YES. But they fucked it up, so they should be embarrassed.

You know the bigger the boot…

The bigger the foot!

Tea Time @ Afternoon Tea in Sogo

Delicious Corn Chowder….

Duck Risotto with Poached Egg and Salad

Spicy Spaghetti with Grilled Prawns

Chicken Sandwich Salad [yes with buttery toast]

Tons of Espresso alllll for meeeee…

Happy Happy Joy Joy

Banana/Kiwi/Walnut Roll

Lemon Angel Cake

Raspberry Chocolate Mousse Cake

Delicious

… I went back for a nap…and to rest my poor twisted swollen ankle…… afterwards I met up with all my aunts and mama at Din Tai Fung for dinner…

Woodear Fungus with Goji

Dan Dan Noodles – mmmm Spicy and Peanuty

Meat Buns

All this food, ALLLLLL consumed by us ladies…

Xiao Long Bao <3 The loves of my life

I ended up in food coma with Mr. Piggie staring at me til I fell asleep…. icing my ankle

度小月 & 點水樓 – Dan Tze Mien 擔仔麵 and more Soup Dumplings 小籠包

Headed over to 度小月 on Zhongxiao Rd….. a street full of restaurants and shops. YUM. But this place is famous for their dan tze mien 擔仔麵,

“Although dantze mian has its origin in Tainan, southern Taiwan, and chiehtze mian is from Taipei, they are essentially the same thing: noodles in pork broth. For a more complex dish, try a bowl of talu mian, which includes stewed pork slices, carrot slices, mushrooms, bamboo shoots, and sliced eggs. 

And then there are the noodles themselves. Noodles come in all kinds of widths and shapes, from thin vermicelli to thick, flat noodles. One of the most common varieties is wheat-flour-based noodles. Although variations featuring eggs, spinach, carrots, and even green tea are not unheard of, traditional hand-made noodles made of flour are most people’s favorite because of their chewy texture. “

- Taiwan Embassy

one of my mom’s FAVORITE dishes in Taiwan.. or ever.  So me, mom and auntie headed straight inside.

They make the noodles and cook it right in the front of the shop. Awesome.

Some of our foods…

Deep fried Shrimp Rolls [which they recommended as their STAR dish..]

Auntie got the  擔仔麵 with egg noodles

Mama got the 擔仔麵 with mung bean noodles

擔仔麵 with thick chow foon [but thin] like noodles – mineeeee obviously

We shared everything but I loved my thick tender homemade noodles the most!!!!  I always love big flat noodles —- [papardelle is my favorite italian pasta]

The flavors were so good and pure.. honestly I could just eat giant bowls of these and nothing else… everything else we ordered was just noise.

Stewed Pig’s Intestines

Braised Meatballs

Stir-fried white water snowflake with cummingcordia and cloves

milk-fish stomach with ginger/garlic soup

Afterwards we wandered the streets…… including this famous shaved ice spot…

Engrish

The worst buns ever

My mom bought two of each flavor and they were HORRIBLE….. Altho all I could look at were the giant chicken fried… uh, chicken steaks hahaha…. but they probably sucked too… since everything tasted old and leftover.

And then… a meal at 點水樓

The small eats – Green Beans, Bamboo, Jellyfish and White Bitter Melon <3 YUM

Xiao Long Baos… my favorite, of course.

Pig’s Feet… altho AoBa’s is still the best. These taste like the way my mom makes them, but not as good….

Oh did I tell you that I sprained my ankle?

SUCK ASS.

WTF is this? Hipster Sushi? — Sushi Roku at Caesars Palace in Vegas

We got in that afternoon and after room service, a few drinks and then  shopping around Vegas in the Forum Shops in Caesars – and me buying a few new things – probably one too many things, including this dress, we popped some champagne and got ready for dinner.

Kisses from us Taiwanese Girls

We walked ALL the way over to Sushi Roku on the opposite end of where we were in Caesars… SO FREAKING FAR.

We ordered a bottle of sake, it was HUGE [see] and some Edamame to start…

Flashback a few years back at Sakae- we ALWAYS get sushi together!!!  First or Last day together <3

NOM – Sake and Edamame.. almost always a good choice, almost [haha]

We didn’t know what to get so we got all recommendations from the waitress.

Yellowtail Sashimi with Diced Chilies

Kelly didn’t care for it, but I didn’t mind it.  Nom nom nom. I like heat.  It wasn’t really heat, just some mild jalapenos, it was fresh but nothing special and over-doused with some oil

“Hanabi” Spicy Tuna with Diced Chilis on Crispy Rice

This was kind of weird. Cool concept, but I wasn’t into the crispy rice.  A bit too chewy and stuck to my teeth.  I ended up just eating off the tops – which wasn’t even spicy.  Just chopped mushy tuna with a little sprinkling on top.. was there even chilis? I think it was just scallions.

Salmon Sashimi Carpaccio with Black Truffles shaved tableside

In concept, it seemed amazing but it was meh.  WTF was that sauce?

Sea Bream and Shiso with Ume

Katana Roll with Spicy Tuna & Shrimp Tempura with Tuna and Yellowtail

These rolls?! I don’t remember anything great about them.  So disappointing….

Conclusion of food? MEH.

We even stopped our last orders of Salmon Nigiri, we wanted OUT.  Since when do I ever OPT OUT of eating?

I don’t even think we wanted the rest of the sake.  It was overpriced and under-tasty.   I know I was expecting too much since we were just lazy and wanted to get dinner somewhere close.. [plus we have a tradition of eating sushi together] but this is just embarrassing. Contemplated NOT blogging about this, but just wanted the world to know that I do eat NOT good food. I usually don’t go for sushi trying to be cool and trendy, but I’ve never had it this bad. MEH.  I’m glad I was tipsy to not really remember the bad experience to detail.  If you can’t do it right traditionally, don’t try to be HIPSTA about it.

We left and headed off to TAO at the Venetian…

The best fun we had all night:

We actually don’t remember these happening..

TEE HEE*

More than just half a dozen oysters… @ Saltwater

Yayyy.. the Detroit blogs continue. Yes I know you’re excited.. that I’m still alive ;D TEEHEE

ANYWAYS — at this point, I’m pretty sure the MGM Hotel Room Service knows me by now and shudders when I call for food. I also usually just pay for it by card so it probably annoys them to death walking up and down, to and fro, but aside from that, I’ve made friends with the food senders hehe.

Lunch was a chopped vegetable salad [capers, tomatoes, celery, greens, feta, pinenuts, etc the WORKS] and this:

Spicy Tuna Tartare with avocado, pickled ginger and sesame wonton crisps. Delish!  Definitely helped with my sushi craving as well…  I can never get enough of raw fish!

The crisps were SO freaking good, DEEE-VOURED. I think I was supposed to eat them WITH the tuna but I inhaled all the creamy tuna first, put the avocado on my salad and then crunched on the greasy wontons.

BTW. I had the truffle chips with blue cheese the other day. SO GOOD, but SO BAD. I got SOOOO sick from them :[ Guess they were too rich and greasy for my stomach to handle. WTF is going on with me and being sick lately? It's like I got a bug that'll never leave. That or my tapeworm is the one getting sick hahaha. BTW, see how it says "Seasonal Soup of the Day"? Just for kicks I called them to ask what their soup of the day was... EVERY DAY and it's always asparagus soup. HAHA. Just say no to stinky pee.

Ok onwards. Workity workity but I had oysters on my brain. CONSTANTLY. So I decided to throw on some clothes and visit the boyfriend at work.

It was pretty empty when I first walked in and plopped myself at the bar. After too much booze the last time I was here, sober dinner it was. Well, snack rather... I ordered a half a dozen oysters... and got so so much more :]

And look, W came out just to shuck some oysters for me personally :]

I’m a spoiled little princess!

I ended up with a dozen GORGEOUS, perfectly shucked, delicious oysters.. and a few raw clams as well :] YUM!

I thought that was it, but W texted me from the kitchen saying that there was another dish….

And then out came these:

If you can’t enjoy fresh radishes with butter & salt, I duno if we can be friends anymore.

Crunchy. Beautiful. Fresh. Crisp. OHHHHH JOY.  I was SOOO HAPPY!!!! My neighbors got radish envy so they got some too :] Compliments of Chef W <3 HEHE. BUT THAT WASN’T THE DISH!!!!! There was another surprise in store for me….

Fresh gorgeous raw tuna on cubes of cheese.. tasted like a mild feta and some crushed/crumbled croutons and EVOO – AMMMMAZE BALLS!

Damn. Now I’m craving radishes….

LA LA LA. Joy!

Lazy Sunday… and a MEH Gyro in Greektown

We slept in a bit and then headed to the pool for some swimming and hot tub. GORGEOUS.

We were STARVING so we cleaned up, got dressed and decided to go out for some barbecue and wandering…

Before heading to lunch/brunch/lunner.. hahahaha our driver brought us to see the old Michigan Central Train Station…  Incredible…sooo gorgeous.

Afterwards our driver headed to Slow’s Bar BQ but it was PACKED so we decided to try another place.  The driver suggested Greektown so off we went…. so many choices there. [Dont worry we ended up eating at Slow's the next day!]

We wandered around a bit and ended up at New Parthenon in Greektown.  There were a lot of cute little shops and dining places.. and a super popular bakery that was packed.. next time I wanna get something from there.

Glory Hole?

Bread and Butter

I tried a glass of a Greek White Wine.. Saint Panteleimon I think it was – the description said semi-sweet but it was definitely more than that…. it was sweet, almost TOO sweet but just enough NOT THAT sweet. Does that make sense?

Honestly, as soon as we sat down and looked at the menu, it was SUCHHHH a large menu that we both lost appetite and decided to just keep it simple and get gyros. Honestly if you go to their website, what they put on there isn’t even the whole menu, it was literally like 4 HUUUUUUUUUGE pages of hundreds of things. OK, maybe not hundreds, but still, it was a LOT. WAYYY too overwhelming.  I hate it when restaurants have HUGE menus.

W got the Gyro platter and I got the Chicken Gyro platter. Both came with meat, sageki, pita bread, choice of fries or rice/veggies and tomatoes and onions.

And guess what? They were build it yourself! Hahaha… so awkward.

They gave me the head and the butt of the tomato :[ Sad. But W gave me some of his tomato slices hehehehe...  The sauce was good but the rest of it was meh.

I tried.  I really tried, I was starving so I ate until I was full and stopped.

We decided to get some desserts. SIGH

Loukoumathes
Greek honey balls with cinnamon and walnuts

It was too overly sweet for me.  Yes, even for ME!  They tasted like Munchkins soaked in just sugar water and sprinkled with some cinnamon and doused with crushed walnuts LOL

Baklava with Ice Cream

I was too mushy for my liking and wayyy overly sweet than normal baklava.  YES YES I know baklava is super sweet but still.. I like feeling the nuts in my teeth and mouth [HAHA, that's what SHE SAID] but this was too mushy….

I wanted to like this place, I really do, I rarely find a gyro that I don’t like, or baklava I won’t finish and lick off the plate buttttt…. :[ It just didn't do it for us. *sad face*

We headed back to the hotel and relaxed at the Concierge lounge for a bit - pretty view.  Detroit is SUCH a quiet city. Srsly.

Needed to redeem ourselves from the bad gyro for lunch with something delicious so we headed down to the Breeze Food Court at MGM for some delicious burgers at the Relish stand.

Spinning burger grill WOOOO!

We both got Bacon Cheeseburgers with the works, fries and onion rings :D  Tummy is finally happy. But OMG they gave us SO much mayo on the side *gag* Apparently Detroit loves their mayo.  We are SO not in…kansas anymore?! HAHA…bad joke.

Cut Off – Only in Bumf*ckville

The day started like any other. Off to meetings, feeling like a cool kid with my hedgehog sweater…

I’m so cool it HURTS!

A venti ice black coffee + Turkey & Swiss sammy from Starbucks for lunch.. a quickie one.. I had to run some errands for my mom, do some grocery shopping…… and then MORE meetings and work… *sigh*

Around 3 I was starving again so I warmed up a bowl of corn, egg and scallion soup from the other night – TONS of white pepper of course :] MMMMMM spicy and hot and burns so good going down.

CORN POOP!

It started snowing around noonish so apparently this meant “storm” but it’s only considered a storm since this year was severely lacking IN snow. Sigh. This was NOTHING.

Work work work, I need a break.  Thankfully M saved me from Bumf*ckville…

We’re on a mission….. and I love missions.  M headed over to pick me up for oysters and bubbles, again, and this time we were on a mission to Legals.  A dozen Raw Oysters and a bottle of Champagne ordered….

We also got a plate of Mussels in a creamy white wine sauce, super garlicky, and of course, my favorite, a bucket of Steamers.  As we finished up out bottle of bubbles we ordered another bottle and was about to order crab cakes and a few entrees, we were told we were cut off. One bottle an hour. Wait what?  We’ve been there for almost 2.  So the manager comes over and stutters and mutters and doesn’t know what he’s saying. Back and forth from one glass per person per hour to two, and then back to no more bottles and if we got another glass of wine we were done for the night. Seriously?! All we had was our appetizers and we were cut off and told to drink water. NOT happy. So we got the check and left. At least they comped our steamers….

Manager said it was Framingham laws but I’ve never gotten cut off anywhere BUT here in the area. SO lame.

Next stop?  It wasn’t even 8 yet and we were already cut off.  We were gonna head to British Beer but then decided on Met Bar since I needed their Hummus.

We ordered a glass of white wine each…. and started to dig in….

They even gave us another basket of fluffy hot pita bread – SO good.. we also got Met Fries with Truffle Mayo and Aioli, Spicy Calamari, Guacamole and Chips, a pitcher of Sangria [too sweet and tasted just like watered down juice] and Korean BBQ Chicken Tacos…

Pretty but not tasty.  SO not KOREAN.  Or very taco like either. Or BBQ… there was something WAY too sweet in it.. almost floral and fruity, weird, not a fan.   The wraps/shells were meh.  They closed the kitchen at 9 and last call for drinks was at 930. SERIOUSLY?! At least they left us with some harsh cocktails during alcohol last call.. UGH, closing early?!?! On a Wednesday night?!?!  All cause of the nonexistent snowstorm going on…. it was literally just a light slush.  No bueno.

CUT OFF AGAIN!

We ended up at a Cigar bar near my house that actually stays open til midnight on the weekdays.  “Now you have a good place to come to in Bumf*ckville” :] Some good booze, think scotch and in a very chill environment we chatted and watched fights on the teevee. CAULIFLOWER EARS *ew* hahahaha…. but yes, midnight rolled around and once again. CUT OFF :[

The night ended with me running around in the snow outside my house.. foot prints everywhere HAHAHAHA....

I'm weird :]

Tea Time at Spring City Resort in XingBeiTou

Every year I go to different Hot Springs Resorts to find out which I like the best… I haven’t been to Xing Bei Tou in two years so it was time to go visit again.  Last year I went to one in Taichung to live at for a few nights at Fresh Fields and it was AHHH-MAZING!!! I never really finished blogging about that place. OOPS – this is why I’m trying to blog while I eat HERE :] I get lazy and distracted with more fun and eats when I’m back in the states. #randombabbling…

HEE HEE HEE these figures are all over the train station SO CUTE

Nuuuuude

Climbing Taipei 101

CHEEEEZING*

Certification hahahaha….

First of all, I was displeased in the beginning since it looked nice but then they misplaced our vouchers and it took FORRRRRRRRREVER for them to find them even tho we had called in the morning to make reservations. WHAT THE DILLY YO?!??!… FINALLY after choosing Tea Time over Dinner – since we could only hot springs for an hour with the “set” and we’d have to wait a few hours after to eat dinner.. we got Tea Time. BAD CHOICE. More on that in a bit…

BUNNY

Obviously no pics of me in the hot springs since it was NUUUUUUDE ;D The room was TEENY TINY – boo – and super stinky.. and there was only 3 bathrooms for ALL the people in the hot springs to use instead of individual – I should’ve brought my bikini so I could Hot Springs outside for better air ventilation and just.. less stinky?!… more space?!… this was kinda disappointing since i’ve been to so many good ones in Taiwan so far :[ Sniffle.

All cleaned up, dressed back up and ready to grub - STARVED

Opted for Tea Time... the chinese and japanese menus looked promising but dinner was TOO FAR AWAY for my tummy to wait

Tea Time was a set meal and than a dessert/soup/salad bar attached.

I made two huge helpings of salad

Got some French Onion Soup - minus the crouton and cheese...

And ordered the Pan Fried Salmon

Salmon is a very flavorful fish and this wasn't overcooked and had good flavor.  Came with yellow rice and steamed veggies.. the sauce was a bit too greasy tho :P

My Hot Springs date got the Chicken Roll

I thought the outside would be tofu skin but it ended up being chicken skin.. the chicken meat itself was bland :[ BOO! And same rice and veggies as my salmon...

"Sweet" Soup for Dessert

Everything was just overly sweet so I just got two bowls of the hot Grass Jelly and added Green Beans to it :] YUM!

I’ve never had HOT grass jelly before, it comes out liquidy and slowly solidifies while you eat.  The green beans [mung beans] were the least sweetened of what they offered.. [Peanuts, Jacob's Tears, Red Beans, etc etc...]

Desserts Bar

Scone, Cookie, Honey Cake, Portuguese Egg Tart

NOM NOM!

Yeah the desserts weren’t good either… :P The egg tart was the best out of the bunch and it was probably the worst honey cake ever :[ SADNESS.

Shopping and EN Japanese Cuisine

After a tons of food and tea time we knew we had to walk off all the sugar….

Anna Sui – jacket was too big but loved the fur… also fell in love with gorgeous cowboy boots

Got a new hat from this awesome Japanese designer

I want this neon yellow jacket from Robyn

We walked and walked til almost 8, tummies were gurgling so we headed to EN…  I’ve seen it but just never been and yes I’ve been getting it confused with the one back in the States.. big mistake. Not only did we eat well over 20x the price of my lunch it wasn’t filling and just subpar :T Alas, let’s continue….

Sashimi… Tuna and Salmon…

Beautifully plated and super fresh…

Sanma-Umeni [Sanma Pike]

Braised in a soy sauce based broth…  this dish was TINY… it was tasty but I’m not quite sure it was really worth the price…

“Sanma” or Mackerel Pike usually comes on our plates with the advent of Autumn, but can be found until mid-winter in Shizuoka Prefecture
Known under other names such “Saira” or “Banjyo”, it is a fish with red meat rich with proteins.
In season, the flesh is fatty and sweet.

Its Japanese name 秋刀魚 means Autumn Sword Fish!

It is mainly caught off the north eastern shores of Japan as the fish swims down from Hokkaido.
But the more south it is caught, the less fat it will contain.
The annual catch exceeds 20,000 tonnes, although breeding is increasingly successful.
If you eat it at a sushi restaurant, you can expect its bones and head served deep-fried.”  [Source]

Okonomiyaki w/ Sakura Shrimp & Mountain Yam

Not the kind of we’re all used to, obviously, but this was super tasty and probably my favorite dish of the night. A lot of people can’t get over raw mountain yam… cooked mountain yam reminds me of a tender cooked potato but raw is gooey and daikon-ish… definitely like a crunchy radish but gooey… not as snotty as natto tho LOL… and tastier…  This was gooey, creamy, crunchy on the top and sides and just YUMMY!!!

EN’s Special Seafood Salad

Sashimi, Squid and delicious greens and caviar… light simple, but the descriptions on the menu sucked and I had no idea I was getting MORE raw fish in this dish… or else I would’ve picked a different salad… lol

Satsuma Style Deep Fried Burdock Root & Mitsuba

“Mitsuba is a Japanese vegetable that has three plain, parsley-like leaves on each long slender, white stalk. Young leaves and stalks have aromatic flavor and are often used as a seasoning in fish soup, Sukiyaki and many Japanese dishes. Young seedlings are used in salads. Seeds are sown in spring and early fall. The plant grows vigorously in mild climates and can be harvested 50 days after sowing. In Japan, plants are generally blanched in darkness or by earthing-up for growing white and tender stalks.” [Source]

And of course with Burdock, I eat it all the time…

This dish was NOT what I expected. I expected LITERALLY a crunchy burdock root, fried, not this fish cake like thing. MEH. Bland and disappointing :[ Squishy squishy..

And then the Snow Crab Hot Pot

Look at the sexy snow crab :] This was a special for the month of December.. also special hot pots were an oyster hot pot and a frogfish/anglerfish [?!] hotpot…. this was was double the price of the other ones tho.. but I found the basket lacking :[ Things were fresh but it could barely feed one, let alone three of us....

So we also ordered the BEEF... it's their "Special" Beef but they only had one choice anyways LOL...

Fish of the Day grilled on Rock Salt: 石頭公 "Round ScorpionFish"

Lacking in meat and while it WAS tasty meat it was TEENY TINY and just... bony :[ Our poor little tummies needed more food...

Sauteed 油菜 [You Cai] with Cod Roe

YO! HOLY HUGE SAK OF EGGY ROE ROE.. they looked like preserved plums!

Seriously? I’m not gonna eat something that resembles gross veiny human balls.. kthanx. NOT hungry no more.Source: Google

By the time we got this tho we just wanted to get out of there.. and we didn’t wanna eat the cod roe… so we opted out of dessert, altho they did give us a lovely yummy cup of toasted rice green tea… and headed back to our hotel.

GROTTO: Good Shoes, Bad Pasta…

All dressed up and somewhere to go…. this is me showing off my new shoes.. I bought awhile ago, that I totally forgot about. Tonight was the perfect night — I hadn’t seen Z in like 2 days and I needed to look fabulouso.  I was at a Bridal Shower, Dressing Fitting and running errands all day so Z made all the details and reservations for the night. Tonight? Grotto.

GUCCI Leopard Gradient :D

Grotto is on the bottom of a HUUUUUUUUGE HUGE hill… we parked at the top, but Z was such a gentleman and carried me down.  Some weirdo yelled “I see her thong”.. except I wasn’t wearing a thong… yay granny panties [haha kidding] STILL.. awkward.. hahaha.. maybe Z should’ve carried me a different way.. hahaha..

Dense bread and EVOO and Olives…

Grilled calamari, White beans, Peppers, Greens, Lemon

Underneath all the delicious fresh arugula was 3, ONLY 3 pieces, but some of the most tender, perfectly grilled calamaris EVER. SO GOOD!!! The sauce, the freshness of the peppery green – AMAZING!!!

Arugula, Proscuitto, Reggiano, Lemon vinaigrette

Delicious Balsamic Vinegar… also came with EVOO and Lemon Vinaigrette 

BUT THEY FORGOT THE CHEESE!!!! FOUR ingredients and they forgot one HUGE major one… like, WTF.  But when we asked for some they gave us a mini bowl of parm :] YUM YUM YUM. I love cheese!

Salad overload much? It’s okay we still had fondue and mussels on the way… but that’s when the meal started going downhill.. at least my shoes are hot [haha]

Fontina cheese fondue, Beef tenderloin, Aged balsamic, Truffle oil, Portobello mushrooms

It smelled truffly but the cheese was soooo thin and runny.. very watery.  I wish it came with crudites.. bread cubes, something.. other than a few sinewy pieces of beef and some flabby cuts of mushroom. SO disappointing. I freaking ADORE fondue… and I miss good quality fondue.  Need to stuff ourselves silly at Artisanal ASAP [where's your fav place for fondue in the City?]

And then the night just got worse from there [at least food wise, we were having great convos].  They forgot to put the order of mussels in, but then they came out with the pastas beforehand — so we just cancelled the mussels. WRONG MOVE… still hungry :[

Potato gnocchi, Short ribs, Mushrooms, Gorgonzola

Just LOOK at them. HOW THE CRAP IS THAT GNOCCHI?!?!.. they're ginormous and so rough looking.. it tasted like raw dough balls... not pillowy, not fluffy not okay. NO BUENO.  I had half a gnocchi and a bite of the short ribs.. the SHORT RIBS were SOOOOO tender, melt away.. but the sauce was so bland... and .. waaaa BAD GNOCCHI...

Spaghetti, Meatballs & Grotto's insanely fabulous tomato sauce
As soon as we walked into Grotto we saw the spaghetti and meatballs, EVERYWHERE. And we were craving. CRAVING.  Earlier that day my BFF [bride-to-be] ordered off the bridal shower menu and got a spaghetti and meatball, so I was def craving.

THIS was the WORST spaghetti and meatballs I’ve EVER had. The tomato sauce was so off… smokey and too many jumbled herbs.  The pasta was OKAY.  But the worst was the MEATBALLS – which is so sad because ya’ll should know by now I’m ALL about the meatballs.  They were SOOOO salty, mushy and just… rosemary or thyme or something just OVER herbed.. *sigh* SO frustrating…

Crab ravioli, Asparagus, Almonds, Saffron

This was the only edible one IMO.  The vegetables were SO fresh tasting… it was delicious.. the only gripe is the pasta.. and the fillings could use more crab in it. But all in all, minus the tough, pasta [not even like under cooked more like pre-cooked and sat out]  So SO happy with the asparagus and the tomatoes.  I sprinkled extra cheese and hot pepper flakes on it for added oomph.. I ended up just not eating most of the pasta part… Z was a sweetheart and let me eat the whole plate [minus one hehe]

So all the pastas were pretty… not good.  Which partially might also because we always have a good time when we go out for italian [ok that last link was MY pasta I made hahahha].  We’re obsessed with good pasta and these just felt like they were sitting out way too long.

Lemon panna cotta, Raspberry sauce, Crispy pizzelle cookie

The flavors were great, but the texture was off. OK so it tasted, texturally, like cheesecake.. a thick creamy cheesecake… NOT panna cotta like  Jay Rayner said “A good panna cotta, if it’s set right, is meant to wobble like a woman’s breasts.” Mwahahahahaha… and it was only half a pizzelle :[ I adore pizzelles.. hahaha wish they had a dessert option of a plate of fresh pizzelles.

Banana bread pudding, Caramel sauce, Caramel ice cream, Spice nuts
Also dense, not bread pudding like... just like a banana spiced bread... banana nut bread minus the nuts... but the burnt caramel ice cream was FREAKING AMAZING!!!!... i gobbled it up with the nuts :]

Ok. No bueno. But the wine was pretty good.. and it was a fun atmosphere.  Definitely not a go to spot for Italian…