And so I sit here…

It’s 3:02AM EST time and I’m sitting here watching tv marathons and movies on iTunes and Netflix.  I just finished off a bowl of homemade nachos and guacamole and I’m about to go warm up some more spicy pulled pork I made earlier.  Has this become my life?  This could be the wine talking, or the wandering mind thinking… but this is definitely not where I thought I would be… a year ago, two, three, five, ten? What has happened?

It’s funny how things work. Weight gain made me sad. But I gained weight cuz I’ve been happy. But the weight gain makes me not want to move… so while I eat less, I move less. I’m still not happy with my body. But that could just be my eating disorder talking.  Always in recovery, never fully recovered.

You guys have been with me through so many ups and downs and yet you remain loyal.  So much gratitude.  Love, lust, heartbreaks. Breakdowns and highs. Parties and mournings.

The past year I have been basically mostly living in Taiwan and I’ve forgotten my love for cooking, almost.  I stopped caring a lot about things I used to be so passionate about and I have no real explanation for it… but it’s recently sparked up again.

I cooked duck the other day. And today I had a pulled pork burrito/taco night with pomegranate guacamole, spicy mango pico de gallo with roasted garlic and corn and an extremely spicy salsa verde… along with some yummy gooey blue corn chip nachos.  I started to feel alive again.  I started a cooking idea journal/notebook again…. mainly b/c I was planning to cook for C on his birthday… and while things got in the way, I still got MAD IDEAS to play on.

SO…. I have ideas of doing supper parties.  [And have talked with a chef friend or two about doing pop ups] – I want to, once I move out, host supper/dinner parties, first once a month, and then possibly once a week.  People can BYOB and tell me their diets…. or just leave it up to me.  Hopefully soon after team, up with chefs and cool wine people.

I have so many ambitions and ideas… I want to write, I want to travel, I want to cook, I want to go back to school…. and I want to film it all. I have a secret thing about wanting to be in front of a camera.

So maybe this is how this blog is evolving.  It went from food diary to healthy eating and recipes to eating out and traveling extravagantly …. and then just personal…. me finding my inner peace…. healing and now this.  My lifestyle. Ever evolving.

This blog is now: Finding the real Miss Tiffie.

Please join me in my journey.

Can you believe it’s February? 2017?

I have so many posts, “almost finished” on here…. I promise to post my New Years Eve dinner post tonight, but life has just been flying past me.

Swoooooshhhhhh….

I feel like this website needs a makeover, do-over, something.  It’s become more of a lifestyle blog than a food blog, although food still is my main love :]  But hey, the older you get, the more life gets in your way.  You grow, evolve… changes.

I’m trying this “healthy” approach to my snacking and randomly missing meals with RXBars and ProteinWorld smoothies… but hell, sometimes I just want my bag of chips to munch on.  My body doesn’t do too well with salty food, so I constantly crave it.  Ahhh, the irony.

2017 has been interesting. I was back in the States before Xmas 2016 but so much drama and blah blah blah… oh and BLAH!… Thankfully I’ve had great people to be there with me and for me [as me for them] during the times.  Love is in the air.  I love you my friends/family.

Anyways just wanna put it out there, I shall be blogging more, cooking more [hopefully]  and I hope I haven’t lost a ton of you….  especially since I’ve been back and forth from Asia and America so much – still figuring out where I wanna end up living at for a “time” or just stick with traveling everywhere :] OK… time to finish my plan for tomorrow’s menu and my NYE Dinner blog post that’s long overdue.

xo always,

I’m back bitches!!!!!!!!

Tiffie

PS. Patriots are DA FUGGING CHAMPIONS……AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This year’s superbowl was unforgettable and epic. Tom Brady for life <3 You know what else was on fire? The wings I made for Superbowl Sunday. Scotch bonnet, garlic, shallots, pineapple, etc…. FIRE <3 Fire like Brady was!!!!! Holla!

 

Wed, July 13 2016: Victory!

Winner Winner Pho for Dinner!  But we’ll get to that in a sec…. but I do see that as a victory as well, since I’ve been craving it for over two months!

Today Archangel Sandalphon is in my life and have told me that “[My prayers have been heard and answered.  Have faith.”  Which is SO on point since a big “victory” I would say has recently happened just right before I left Taiwan.  Which made it a lovely trip back.

A weight has been lifted off my heart and shoulders….. that is until I landed in Boston and saw a certain text.  And then some…. I was filled with rage…. and then just sympathy, compassion, forgiveness.  I called my teacher/mentor last night and she talked to me.  She told me just to relax, breath in, breath out, and do some card readings and pendulum readings to help relax me.  The angels were with me last night/early this morning…. and I was finally able to easily rest at 6am.  Obviously, jet lag had something to do with it – and hunger, but today I feel even lighter than I ever have been before.

I think my heart and spirt…. my soul, has been finally healed and I am completely ready to help others.  The stronger and more calm and happy and loving that I become, the more I want to share it with the world, give, give, give and give.  I feel sorry for those who play victim and just want to take and not give back.

I am closer to God and my spirituality than I have been in a very very long time.  And I am so very happy that this change happened to me.  So yes, I have been victorious in so many ways.  I still have a few things to cross over, but I’m getting there – isn’t there always room for improvement?  Growing?  Being a better person?

It’s very important to always remember that.  Just because you achieve one victory doesn’t mean you stop there, you just keep on aiming for more.

Smile.

Guess who else joined me for dinner?  Yup, Luke got me to try the Pokémon Go craze…. and it seems to be getting to me pretty hard LOLOL…. it’s strange how after all these years, Pokémon are smart enough to still get it to viral status.

 

Love and bless you all. XOXO,

Tiffie

And here’s a little something something from my latest fobby crush, Kris Wu[Wu Yi Fan aka 吴亦凡], whom I noticed he was on the EXO-M, korean/mando pop groups and also now an actor, Canadian/Chinese, which I saw him on the plane on Mr. Six.  Here is bad girl…. omg he’s so not my type but he’s so pretty :] I’ll take it… also his music is……. let’s just say his acting is better ;] LOL.

I adore him with lots of hair and when he dyed it white <3 <3 <3

Also my other latest crush in the past two and a half months has been Taiwanese actor, Darren Wang [Ta Lu Wang aka 王大陸] from the movie Our Times… who is even further away from my type.  But yes yes yes please.  I’ve actually been having tons of dreams about him lately.
*blush* Should I read my cards with him? LOL…..

Cuties right? Maybe I will start dating asians again……

Monday, July 11 2016: Clairaudience

Today Archangel Zadkiel has told me to “Notice the loving guidance you hear inside you mind, or from other people.”

I’m sorry to people I’ve hurt and bless everyone, those who hate me and love me. I blame myself for all the stress I have caused on anyone and myself.  I am who I am today because of all of you.  Lessons have been learned.  Tears and smiles.  Butterflies in the stomach and heartbreaks.  First kisses and forever goodbyes. Bless everyone.

This trip and these “accidental” classes have not only brought me peace at heart, but I’ve released all the hurt and sadness and despair from my past.  All the anger and hate.  I’ve also learned a new gift.  One to heal, one to answer questions and to help and teach others.  My teacher, aka master, has also told me that I am already, just a month in, ready to go out on my own and help others.  I can speak to the spirits and the angels and I have seen them, God, my past and have seen the future.  I am no longer who I was a month and a half ago. [I say “accidental” because I was only supposed to see my teacher once, but she said she saw my gift and offered me to be an apprentice, a student, now she is ready to teach me how to teach others.]

Btw, I got a new trim, and color to my hair today, yay.. thinking of going lighter ombré… what do you guys think?

Today I asked my angel cards for help and wisdom to guide me today and of course, Michael and Gabriel came up, per usual. They are the best “guardian angels” ever. [BTW. have you guys seen the show Angel from Hell with Sarah Lynch? Most hilarious new show ever! I love her humor! She was amazing on Glee.  I hate that they’re canceling it due to a religious thing, relax guys.  It’s a show.]

That goes on to my next thing.  People need to relax, let loose.  Not get tangled up in a web that just causes more chaos and negativity.  You must think positive.  It’s like my card told me today.  Listen to myself,  my heart, and to those I love and who surround me and send tons of positivity my way.

I am a very lucky girl.  I have a ton of very loving family and friends, and even fans… you guys, yes all of you reading, or not, you guys have supported me, loved me, believed in me for so long – and I plan to always live up to it.  I am so appreciative, actually for everyone who has passed in my life, either who have stayed or left, because I am who I am now because of this. Fate. Karma.

Stay positive.  Bless everyone around you whether they treat you well or not.  And remember to always listen to your heart.  Oh and eat your heart out.

Dinner tonight at Din Tai Fun was uhhh 5+ steamers of xiao long baos [including sweet ones], tons of veggies, pork chops, chicken soup, bamboo, wine chicken, spicy cucumbers, etc etc etc…. there was a ton of food, and I still have a ton next to me that I ordered for a late night snack ;] Enjoy life.  You only live.. once, well, once that you remember [unless under hypnosis] – And yes, I saw a few past lives under hypnosis.

Good night ya’ll ;] LOVE YOU!  I’ll be in the States for a bit soon….. and I’ll also be back in Taiwan for awhile again, soon.

XOXO

 

Happy Vday: Testing Love

Recently I’ve been tested on the test of love.

It was hard.

There were tears.

There was heartbreak.

There was also hurt that I’ve never felt before.

And yet, we rose above it.  And after telling each other to give each other a few days, it took less than that to know that we wanted, needed, had to be together.

We talked. We made up. We promised to communicate more and fix and that’s how life and all sorts of relationships work.  Not just in love.

Happy Valentines Day from Taiwan…. instead of the usual…. we stayed in bed til dinner time and then we had super spicy, potent, Indian food… walked around in the cold rain…. went to a “speakeasy” and went home…. all while wearing “he & she” shirts I bought last night at Shilin Market.

We definitely love each other….

True love…. right?!

Ok, he’s asleep… and all I wanna do is just cuddle him instead of this bottle of wine cuz I’m so wide awake AF…. ARGH LOL….

 

byebye past, hello future

This is the beginning of a whole new life for me.  A new chapter with one of the best people I know in my life.  I’m not running away from my past but I have moved on, beyond and I’m only looking forward, hand in hand with my love.

A few things I’m considering, now that this has gone from health blog, foodie blog, for awhile it got all personal and “shtuff” and now into a lifestyle blog.  Should I get rid of all my old posts?  Or just leave them on to see how I’ve grown?  Tons of old posts are still being read, even commented on, so I feel like I’m taking away from hiding them….

But this is a new start for me.

After over 24 hours in airports, but mostly an airplane… I am on the other side of the world, for who knows how long.  On the plane I watched Tiny Times (finally!!!), Room and Trainwreck.  Which strangely, I connected to all three.

Tiny Times.  The Asian, younger version of Sex and the City.  College students who great up together and their stories.  Each girl different from the other (all gorgeous of course and all in different situations in their lives – of course – but even the most glamorous has difficulties.)  Who hasn’t gone through a time admiring successful beautiful people.  The super athletic one.  The super rich one.  The gorgeous one.  The artistic one.  The smartest one.  Or wanted “Mr. Perfect” etc. etc.  This movie reminds us that we are still, in fact, all the same.  All the same insecurities, pains, emotions, feelings – and most of us, truly do in fact have a soul.

Room.  A girl was raped and abducted for over 5 years and had a child and was living in one room for that long.  Her son, his whole life, was based on a tv, books “surprise Sundays” and the room.  It was interesting how the girl got frustrated at her own son being scared of the world she always knew of and dreamed of going back into – after they got saved.  It also reminded me of how materialistic the world has become, how reliant we are with technology and not appreciating the beauty we have all around us, waiting to happen, things that have happened.  Just even a window to look outside.

Trainwreck.  I’ll just let the name speak for itself.  Thankfully I was never even close to how awful of a place she was in.  But let’s just got back to Tiny Times’ conclusion.  Everyone has gone through shit.

And then I think of where I am now.

I am happy.

I AM HAPPY.

Of course, nothing will ever be perfect… but I am HAPPY.

So yup. First 24 hours has been a lot of sleep (we both passed out around 9ish last night)  And it’s currently 6 in the morning.  More later on.  Feel free to check out my tweets and instagram for quicker updates.

xoxo, Tiffie

Holiday gift problems?…. I got your solution!!!!

While I am still trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with my MissTiffie.com site.  Ever since my ex deleted my website it’s still going to the wrong hosting site, when I already have hosting and everything on GoDaddy! Someone help please!!!!!…..  But I’d like to promote this super awesome gift you can give to your loved ones!!!!

Go to http://kendamaco.com :] The promo only lasts til January 1, 2016 so hit it up now!!!!!!

Do you believe? Forever vs Flames

Relationships are hard.  I’m sure you all know by now there will be tears of laughter and pain.  We all look for that forever, but why is our criteria so “perfect”  Is there such thing as a forever or an impeding doom? I feel like we usually live so black and white we forget the real colors in between.  I believe in soulmates but I also believe in finding the one that is just as great.

There’s so much effort and deceit.  Why not just let it go as it is and be honest and be yourself?  Learn to live, to love, to let go, to move on, and just to be happy.  I would love to find someone to spend the rest of my life with.  Be old and grumpy, giggle and throw popcorn at people in theatres… dress up for fancy events, and possibly, hopefully, give birth to life itself right in front of our eyes.  But I’d also be happy not settling for just anyone and being a dog/cat lady for life. Single, dating, happy, friends.

So it’s not always Forever vs Flames.

It’s whatever makes you happy…. do you believe you can achieve happiness? If so, and if that is your goal – you are on the right path.

Birthday, Life sometimes sucks, Stay positive!!!

And for all those who knows me, I literally celebrate all freaking month!  I’d say it all started with going to me buying myself Yankees vs Red Sox tickets, 3rd row VIP 5 Seconds of Summer tickets and amazing One Direction tickets.  Hey if I can’t get a guy to take care of me, I can do it myself.

SO the original plan was Napa Valley.  But a few things came up (family stuff) so I’ll have to celebrate here in Massachusetts.  Hey, I’m not getting any younger so might as well do it up the fun way. Dave & Buster’s in Woburn.  So anytime after 3pm please feel free to come by… it’ll probably for awhile….thinking of a place for dinner, but it may be intimate or just not necessary :]

Dave & Buster’s
271 Mishawum Road, Woburn, MA 01801
(781) 496-4900

Anytime after 3PM – May post about brunch or watch twitter or FB about earlier…..

Recently I have been letting a lot of negativity go in my life and focusing of the positive… I’ve been having  relaxing days at work, thought things through, meditated a bit and all the negativity in me just rushed out. I am at peace and one with myself.  Emptied. (Or wait maybe I’m just literally empty and hungry right now) So in light of that some happy things.

– For example, my bestie, my sister, Kate’s dad, which is like my second dad, has been very ill and in and out of the hospital – she created the cutest CUTEST website for him Papa’s Mickey.  Although not the happiest thing and I wish he wasn’t so sick but we are gonna stay as positive as possible!!!!!

– Modern Dauphine is now… sort of running now… we just need to get all the podcasting and store up.  And go from not just blogging to a full blown interactive social website.  But we do have an instagram now as well.  Check out my 20 Questions.

– I am also doing that for my own personal website as well.  So look forward to that.  That are a lot of old posts that the photos are all messed up and stuff so I’ll be keeping some good ones, fixing them or just leaving them on here as an “archive” for people to check out, I kind of want to start fresh and new. I have a great team helping me out with this project. I finally have my “image” created – I drew me, in vector, instead of just regular photography – for now – to not “sex it up” too much – for now, I have a few wanting to do me but it seems sketchy or just money grubbing. Haha.  Plus I do really good photo editing so what’s the point?  But don’t worry, this blog will still be open.

– Not so positive, but still better than before: I need to get my health better… my vitamin D deficiency is out of control but at least I’m controlling the anemia well.  The doctors are also concerned about the weight loss but I am at a loss for words (no pun intended) for why I just have less appetite and why I can’t seem to keep my nutrients in.  I’m thinking of getting tested for celiac. So after 14 vials of blood… they still got nothing… except my vitamin D level is…. 8!  Normal is 30-100. I have 8. So now I’m on a high dosage of it.  Like 50,000 MG or something.  Why is my body not absorbing it?

– And what is going on is so ridiculous you can’t even imagine.  I’m supposed to be halfway to sleepy never never land and yet I get THIS happening to me. OH WAIT! If I post it, he’ll say, yup HE WILL SAY, that I just want attention – but wait, I get attention without doing anything. Probably what he wants. SO. I will just say a guy I was interested in was, once again, not who he claimed or posed to be.  Getting insulting emails in the middle of the night was not what I signed up for.  Neither were insecure guys I had to sugar mama to. YES. That was just said. Hey maybe I do just want “attention with guys”  He promises to reply to me but doesn’t.  Apparently “our relationship” keeps getting in the way of his workouts and his “work”. HA! You’re just lucky I’m not bitchy enough yet to say who you are.

– Went to a 5th Red Sox game. So far for me, 2 out of 5 losses.  But it was a good game.  FU Chicago, I love you but you beat us 10 – 8 Monday. It’s cuz I didn’t eat my hot dog, right?!  Or I didn’t wear my Red Sox undies.

Stay Positive

Lastly, before I forget, I’m gonna start doing pre-taped AND live broadcasts of my podcast.  So let me know your thought.  Live will be mainly night ones or surprise ones.  I’ll have pre-taped topics that will be posted weekly.  Also I will be going back to youtube vlogging and social camming again.  And if you haven’t added me on the app Periscope yet, you should, I’m starting to go on it once every day or two :]

And I leave you with 5 Seconds of Summer‘s newest song “She’s Kinda Hot” – Concert countdown – 35 Days <3 Woot

And last, but not least: Life, love, energy is never black and white… or shades of gray – it’s colors of all spectrum, and in my case, the freaking neon bright rainbow.  Enjoy what you get and cherish it – It won’t be around forever.

I feel like I need to post a food post soon….

Feeling down…..

I don’t know why my mood changed so dramatically….. yesterday was such a much needed relaxing beach day…

Not sure why I brought so many towels. Note the Austin Mahone one hahaha.

The water was cold but not so bad as last year.  I can’t believe it’s the end of July and I finally just got in my first beach day!!!! I got a nice pre-game tan for more beach sessions to come.. L & I are #beachbuddies4life haha.

Stayed til the beach almost closed (at 8).. the sky was so beautiful, the beach wasn’t crowded anymore and it was SO relaxing. All my worries and stress had gone away…

…but today is already going more and more downhill.  I have anxiety, I’ve been insulted, I feel ignored, hurt and just in a low point.  There are so many things I can’t get my mind off of…. (-_-メ) Don’t we just all want to figure out the answers to life?  And I hate how things can get so twisted and people can get so stubborn and not listen. I need to do some work and then find something to do to make me smile to get my mind off of things.

Oh and if you haven’t been notified yet I recently joined Periscope if you follow my twitter it’ll automatically tell you when I’m on it.  Funny stuff.  Thanks to everyone who was on it watching and talking to me yesterday at the beach… I think it got up to  3 or 4 hundred viewers at some point :] Hahaha. Hoping to incorporate it into my new website expansive project I’m currently working on (more on that later)

Welps, off to conquer the world and hopefully I’ll get some good news or conversation that’ll put a smile on my face today.